Recommendations for parents of slow children. Slow child at school and at home Child works slowly in class

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If you are used to doing everything quickly, without delay, remembering every task and completing it on time, slow people can annoy you.

Especially when your own child hesitates, from whom you expect something specific without even thinking about it. Of course, we expect success, luck, and understanding from children. And, sometimes, they seem older to us than they really are, and we demand unbearable things from them.

But what to do if a slow child was born in your family and this became a stumbling block for everyone, and sometimes a reason for screaming and quarrels?

Causes of childhood slowness

If you are faced with the problem that your child is very slow, what should you do and what should you definitely not do?

You shouldn’t immediately worry that the child is “something different.” Perhaps he is not even slow, he is just too small for some actions, or you and he have different temperaments - what is slow for you is normal for him.

If your child is very slow, think about why:

  • Phlegmatic people are very calm people, slow and thorough. They do not get irritated over trifles, they are not in a hurry;

Take a closer look, perhaps your baby has such a character. It is useless to convince and retrain here; you need to get used to it and accept the child for who he is. Otherwise, neurological problems and discord in your relationship may arise.

  • Children under 3 years old are not that nimble yet, they are just learning to dress themselves and, of course, they do not yet have a sense of responsibility;

They don’t understand why it’s bad to be late and how to understand that the allotted 10-15 minutes have already passed for some task. And my fingers still don’t obey well.

  • There are children, especially boys, who cannot do two things at the same time;

And while you are shouting at the child that he is taking a long time to get ready, he cannot do anything - he listens to you.

In order for him to concentrate on one thing, it is necessary to remove all external stimuli, not turn on the TV, radio, or talk to him. Only then will he be able to calmly do his homework or get dressed for a walk.

  • Attracting attention is another “non-painful” reason for procrastination;

Think about whether you are attentive enough to your child, whether you always listen to what he has to say, and whether you communicate enough.

Know! Surprisingly, very often children use tricks to attract negative attention in order to somehow get a response from parents or other children.

  • Children who are prone to thinking, dreaming, thinking, very creative and thoughtful may forget about where they are and what they are doing. They have their head in the clouds, inventing their own worlds and fantastic inventions.

Try to direct it in the right direction, but you still have to adjust it.

Slowness as a physiological problem

It happens that a child does everything slowly and due to health problems.

  1. If a child has a congenital or acquired chronic disease, it can affect the nervous system and result in inhibition of actions. That is, slowness is the result of weakness and lack of strength, fatigue;
  2. Difficult childbirth, pregnancy with complications, congenital hypoxia. This also affects. Such children must be observed by a neurologist;

Under no circumstances should you shout at your child, tease him or scold him. Otherwise, the problem can only get worse, and there is a risk of nervous tics and stuttering.

  1. Left-handers do the opposite, using objects differently than right-handers, which slows them down. Choose scissors and a pen for a left-handed person, and most importantly, do not overtrain! This can provoke even greater slowness;
  2. If you have recently moved, transferred your baby to another kindergarten, or another child was born in the family, any strong change affects the psyche and, as a result, we experience a slowdown in actions. Try to treat with understanding and patience, encourage;
  3. Too strict demands on a child can lead to slowness - the baby does everything with caution so as not to make mistakes and not cause parental disapproval.

What to do

How to help a slow child if his slowness is not associated with illness:

  • Explain each action step by step: it is better to “chew” once than to be annoyed every time because of a child’s misunderstanding;

Perhaps some point is difficult for the baby, and you are nervous because it seems too simple to you. Just imagine that absolutely everything is difficult for a little one - after all, he is just learning, and this is always a difficult process.

  • Don't rush to help every time you think your child is doing something too slowly - give him time to try it himself first;

Lead the process, encourage, advise if necessary, praise when it works. It also happens that an overly impatient mother simply does not allow the child to do something on his own and he deliberately hesitates, waiting for her to intervene.

  • Do not rush and do not scold - the baby loses faith in himself, it begins to seem to him that he is not capable of anything on his own. It’s just that some children need to be monitored as they carry out your instructions, because otherwise they get distracted;
  • If you are going somewhere, encourage your child to prepare the necessary things in advance;

Let him take out and hang on the chair the clothes he will wear, check everything, and schoolchildren must pack their backpack and prepare their school uniform in the evening. This way you don't have to rush the children.

  • And if you, moreover, tell your baby in advance what you are going to do together, where you will go or what task you will give him, then at least some kind of plan will form in his head.

It will help avoid procrastination and disagreement if you discuss the upcoming actions in advance.

Tips for parents of children with neurological problems

  1. Remember that the baby is not “slowing you down” out of spite, don’t let it make you angry or irritate you;

After all, children sense our mood and will feel like a burden, the subject of their mother’s frustration and anger. And, if you start screaming, this will definitely not spur the baby on; he will only slow down even more, because he will be afraid that he is wrong and bad.

  1. Get used to the routine. Let each action be at the same time every day. Here the body itself gets used to it;
  2. Rituals are a great tool. Children remember them like a rhyme; it’s easier for them if everything is repeated exactly every day;
  1. If a child speaks slowly, do not finish his words for him, do not try to guess what he wants to say, do not make fun of him. Learn patience and the baby will learn the required speed;
  2. Train your speed with games and tasks.

Do not force him to rush, but gradually speed it up, making sure that the child has time. Let, for example, there be some sequence of movements that the child will repeat after you. At first very slowly, then, each time, a little faster.

Be patient. All people are different and sooner or later you and your baby will definitely find a common language!

The mother of seventh-grader Alyosha complained that her son had the same trouble at school every day. The teacher asks him a question, and Alyosha stands and looks at the ceiling, immersed in his thoughts. The teacher finally says: - Sit down, two! The boy returns to his place, the lesson goes on as usual, and suddenly the answer clearly appears in Alyosha’s head. He raises his hand: - I remembered! And the teacher waves it off: “It’s too late!”

The child’s mother turned to the psychologist with a question: “Is it possible to make him remember the answers faster?” He's a smart boy!

The mother of eight-year-old Dasha faced a similar problem. The girl is in second grade and does homework for 3-4 hours, although she is not given much. Dasha just can’t concentrate: she writes a few letters and looks out the window. As a result, the girl herself gets tired from sitting at the table for such a long time and asks her mother to let her run. Mom looks at the notebook with bitterness: not even half of the exercise is there.

How can I teach her to work faster? - asks mom. – It’s a pity to spend the whole day on lessons!

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I think these situations are familiar to everyone - once upon a time we ourselves were slow, for one reason or another, to do what was assigned, one of our classmates sometimes (I’m not afraid of this definition) was “stupid” in class - there are many such examples, you just have to try recall...

But you and I have already grown up, we have children who suddenly begin to literally broadcast “footage of our childhood.” We understand that they need help... How can we help our children minimize the number of manifestations of “slow down moments” in life?

A child can be slow for several reasons. It is important to establish these reasons before you begin to solve the problem using pedagogical methods:

He is phlegmatic. Perhaps slowness is a feature of your child’s temperament. A phlegmatic person is characterized by a low level of mental activity, slowness, inexpressive facial expressions, and sluggish speech. It is very difficult for phlegmatic people to switch from one type of activity to another, to adapt to a new environment. If the reason for a student’s slowness is temperament, you may have noticed this even in preschool age. Phlegmatic children can play with one toy for hours or listen to the same fairy tale for a month. At school, such children usually excel in one subject, but do not have enough time for others. They have very stable emotions and views. It is difficult to convince them of anything.
After all, temperament is an innate property of the nervous system, so it is impossible to change it much. However, there are methods that teach a phlegmatic person to work quickly, which means that they help him adapt in society (after all, slow people irritate many people).

What are these methods?
1. Turn on the timer. When a phlegmatic person is immersed in an activity, such as doing homework, he may forget about time and spend hours analyzing one task or re-reading an interesting paragraph over and over again. Therefore, in order for him to control himself, it is necessary to agree: “You only have an hour for homework. I set a timer and when it goes off, class time is up.”
It is best to use a desktop electronic clock with a timer function for this purpose. They should not be directly in front of the child's eyes so as not to distract him. They need to be placed somewhere on the side so that the student can see how much time is left until the end. Of course, if a child does not manage to finish everything on time, you cannot take away his textbooks and kick him out from the table. But it is necessary to point out to him that he is late. After this, it wouldn’t hurt to turn on another timer so that the student can estimate how many minutes he lacks.
If the child managed to meet the deadline, be sure to praise him. In her notebook, the mother can give the student grades for how quickly he completes his homework. It’s great if the time allotted for lessons ends with the beginning of some interesting program. Then the child will have an incentive to complete the task before the appointed minute, so as not to be late for the cartoon or movie.
2. Let's overtake the school! Since it is difficult for a phlegmatic person to switch from one subject to another, at the beginning of summer it would be advisable to buy the child textbooks for the next grade so that he reads them all in turn. Unlike other children, a phlegmatic person will not refuse such a pastime, because he is not a supporter of outdoor games. The main thing is not to put pressure on him or push him. This is not an assignment, it is a chance to get acquainted with school material in advance and at a relaxed pace. Perhaps, at the dacha, sitting in a chair, the child will read a history textbook from beginning to end, and then take up geography... He will be able to enjoy slow learning. And there will be no these constant, hated switchings from one subject to another.
You can “overtake school” during the winter holidays and on weekends. There is no need to worry that a child who has familiarized himself with the program in advance will not be interested in school. A phlegmatic person loves to repeat the same thing over and over again, and listens to old material even with more pleasure than new material.
3. Let's compete. A phlegmatic child should at least temporarily be sent to a sports section where there are speed competitions. This could be swimming, running, skiing. Most likely, he will not become a great athlete, but he will learn to concentrate his energy, focus on the main thing, and gather his strength. All this will be very useful in life.

What if he gets distracted? Some children do everything slowly because they cannot concentrate. This problem most often occurs among first-graders. It is connected with the fact that the child’s voluntary attention is not sufficiently developed.

Voluntary attention is the ability of a person, under the influence of intention and a set goal, to concentrate on an activity that may be uninteresting and difficult at the moment. He understands that, having sacrificed immediate pleasure, he will receive much greater pleasure when the goal is achieved.

For example, a first grader is more interested in rolling a typewriter on the table than in solving a problem. However, he understands that if he completes the assignment, he will get an A tomorrow, and the pleasure from a good grade will be greater than from rolling the car. Voluntary attention is based on will; the primary school student learns to exercise will in order to achieve a goal.

How to help a child if his voluntary attention is not sufficiently developed?
1. Motivation. You need to talk to your child about his future. How does he see himself in 10-15 years? What will he do, will he have a family, children? How is he going to make money? The child must feel like a member of society and understand that his current studies determine how he will live in the future. However, one should not look only into the distant future. We must try to arouse the child’s interest in learning by showing how his knowledge can be applied in practice. For example, you can let him count the money and ask if it is enough for the necessary purchases.
2. Exercises. There are special exercises for developing voluntary attention.
For example, a child is given a sheet of paper, colored pencils and asked to draw ten triangles in a row. When this work is completed, the child is warned about the need to be careful, since the instruction is pronounced only once. “Be careful, shade the third, seventh and ninth triangles with a red pencil.” If the child asks again, you must answer “Do as you understand.” If he has completed the first task, he can continue working, gradually complicating the tasks. If the child asks again, you must answer “Do as you understand.” If he has completed the first task, he can continue working, gradually complicating the tasks.

What if something is bothering him? Some children do everything slowly because they are afraid of making a mistake. This is associated with anxiety and self-doubt. As a rule, anxious children are afraid of either their parents, or teachers, or peers, and sometimes all at once.

When parents punish a child for failing, he is terrified of making a mistake. On the test he is overcome with fear. The hand refuses to write, the child rereads the task many times, and when he writes a line, he checks it again and again.

If a student is afraid of a teacher, he cannot concentrate in his presence, but with another teacher he does everything quickly and well.

The child is afraid of his peers in 2 cases. Or he enjoys great authority among them, and it is simply unacceptable for him to receive a bad grade. Or his peers view him negatively and are happy to laugh at his failure. However, this is not a complete list of anxiety options.

It happens that a child is stressed after experiencing a disaster, parental divorce, or the death of a loved one. This also increases his overall level of anxiety, which affects the speed at which he writes classwork and homework. In this case, you need to try to find the source of anxiety, and then decide: either to eliminate it (for example, leave a bad teacher), or to help the student adapt (if it is impossible to eliminate this or that circumstance).

It happens that he is preoccupied with another problem... The child does everything slowly, because all his thoughts revolve around some important problem, and the lessons fall out of his sphere of attention. You have to study, but he, like an overloaded computer, freezes, looking at one point. Problems troubling a child can be very different. Ask your baby if he is hungry, maybe cold, or if something hurts.

Agree, it’s hard to think about exercising if you have a headache, stomach or toothache! But, unfortunately, not every child is ready to admit this to their parents. Problems can also arise in the family: the child is worried about a quarrel between his parents or his grandmother’s illness. Very often, children are worried about conflicts among their peers: a friend betrayed them, they liked a girl but preferred someone else, they don’t have a fashionable jacket...

Thus, if parents are concerned about the slowness of their child, they should consider what in a particular case may be causing this problem:
How long has it been since the child became slow?
- After what incident?
- What people did he communicate with at the moment when his slowness became noticeable?
These questions can be discussed with the child himself or given to him to read this article (if he can read well enough).

Perhaps he himself will find the reason for his slowness and suggest a way out of the current situation.

I think it’s worth formulating a general reminder for all adults who are faced with a slow child. The lines below will be relevant for educators, preschool teachers, primary and secondary school teachers, and parents.

MEMO FOR AN ADULT “FEATURES OF POSITIVE INTERACTION WITH A SLOW CHILD”:

Organizing the life of a slow child requires the fulfillment of certain conditions:

1. Love and accept your child for who he is.
2. Talk calmly to a slow child. Do not be hasty or nervous when doing something with a slow child.
3. Don't push him, encourage and encourage him with a word/look/touch. Give him extra time so that he can complete some task, craft or drawing, etc. without haste, even if you have to finish it in several stages.
4. Be patient. Working with slow children is very tiring and requires the ability to restrain yourself and not raise your voice.
5. Develop a sense of time in your child.
6. Keep a clear daily routine. When and what to do, in what order. Never allow your child to work “for a while.” Time pressure is strictly contraindicated for a slow child.
7. Slow children need constant work responsibilities: hanging clothes in place; take care of your appearance; wash your small items, etc.
8. Promote in every possible way the development of self-confidence. Work with him using “positive reinforcement”: in case of failures, encourage him, and emphasize the most insignificant success. Always create a situation for success. Conduct the training in a playful manner and against a good emotional background.
9. Always remember that such a child needs time to “build up.”
10. Use anticipatory influence techniques. Remind in advance and create conditions that make it easier for the child to complete the task at a faster pace.
11. Involve in joint activities. The child, infected by the general mood, strives to coordinate his actions with the actions of others.
12. Involve your child in physical education and rhythm classes.
13. Switch the child’s attention more often during activities.

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Doctor of Medical Sciences M. M. Koltsova claims that on average 23% of children are slower than their peers. 4-6% of them grow up in unfavorable environments.

Ohio State University psychology professor Roger Ratcliffe has been conducting research on cognitive processes for ten years. He claims that slow children are normal. But when slowness is ignored by parents, it leads to educational lag and neuroses.

A teacher-psychologist of the highest category with 25 years of experience, Guzyal Akhmedova, names the following characteristics of slow children:

  • Their speed of action is 1.5-2 times lower. This was established during an experiment with children changing clothes and washing their hands in a kindergarten.

Long latent period. This is the name given to the period of time from a nerve impulse to the brain about the start of an action until the action itself. In slow children it is on average 3 times greater than in ordinary children.

  • Difficulty switching between tasks. Adults often feel that the child does not care about the task. But in reality it is difficult for him to switch between them.
  • Susceptibility to stereotypes. Such children do not accept new things. Therefore, they try to use already familiar thinking patterns.
  • Speech inertia. Stretching out words, pauses between words are signs of low mobility of nervous processes.

First of all, parents should accept their child for who he is. We will talk further about why this problem arises and methods for solving it.

Causes of childhood slowness

Some parents are annoyed by their child's passivity. They do not understand that it is not the baby’s fault that his nervous processes are slower. Name-calling and slaps on the head increase tension and weaken concentration.

Some children suffer from slowness due to organic changes in the structure of the brain, others due to the characteristics of the nervous system, and still others from a banal illness.

But sometimes the parents themselves are to blame - the peculiarities of upbringing and a bad atmosphere in the family could lead to slowness.

There are other reasons:

Cause

Description

By nature, a phlegmatic person has special traits: he is unhurried, does not accept new things, and is uncommunicative. Such “hoarders” have a hard time finding friends, but they are always loyal and rarely enter into conflict.
Fear of mistakes This is a consequence of a bad atmosphere in the family. Nobody wants to get another slap on the head. In order not to make mistakes, the child is forced to carefully weigh his decisions. This increases tension and can become complicated.
Long-term illness During illnesses, the body spends all its energy fighting pathologies. Therefore, reactions slow down. When the health crisis is over and immunity is increased, the child’s activity speed is restored.
Brain pathologies A difficult pregnancy, difficult childbirth or birth trauma can subsequently “reward” the newborn with lethargy. Premature babies are also often slow. In this case, you should contact a neurologist or neuropsychiatrist.
Stressful situations Moving or a new school is also stressful for a child. What can we say about domestic conflicts? All this affects the child’s nervous system and academic performance.
Protest Parents of a slow child should change their education system. When she is authoritarian, the child, with his slowness, protests against total control.
Homely atmosphere Authoritarianism, tension and quarrels between parents will not lead to anything good. All reasons are closely related. Therefore, strengthening any of them will entail strengthening the others.
There is no need to fight this reason and retrain the child to be right-handed - it is better to adapt him to the conditions.

Pay attention in time to excessive daydreaming in children and their withdrawal into themselves. This may be a consequence of severe mental disorders.

How to raise a child

Due to the irritability of adults, children are reluctant to accept others into their games, communicate little, and can withdraw into themselves. To prevent this from happening, teachers advise parents the following:

  • No reproaches. An even and friendly tone of conversation with the child will calm him down. This is much more effective than “verbal injections” and pushing.
  • No rush. It is useless to urge a slow child. Often this only slows down his activities for fear of doing something wrong.

  • No comparisons. You should not compare your child with his fast peers. The result of the comparison will be three things: low self-esteem, neuroses.
  • . The child often takes on family quarrels. He subconsciously considers himself guilty. The feeling of guilt only enhances his innate peculiarity.
  • Without laziness. Research by Soviet scientists at the Research Institute of Physiology of Children and Adolescents has shown that systematic training increases the speed of children’s work. The most suitable age for this is 4-6 years. Don't forget about the simplest techniques: a walk before bed, developing tolerance for the child, playing together.

Games for baby development

Any games with a change in tempo of movements are suitable.

"Overtake Me"

Alternating walking and running. You can change the tempo using a verbal signal or music. It is important to adapt to the child's pace and sometimes let him win.

"Palms"

The task is to change the tempo of clapping your hands. Give signals by voice or music.

"Fingers"

Bend and straighten your fingers at different speeds. You can include gymnastics with “forbidden movements” or with “replacement”. The first option involves repeating the warm-up exercises, except for the stipulated “forbidden” ones. This trains the child's attention. The second option trains the children's reaction. For example, if the leader bends his fingers, the participants straighten them, and vice versa.

Such children are teased by their peers as “slow,” and adults in their hearts call them hoarders, mumblers, or sleepy grouse. They perform all their actions as if in slow motion, and sometimes they freeze completely, as if falling asleep on the move. Experts use the term “slow children,” and psychoneurologists sometimes talk about hypodynamic syndrome in this case. What do parents need to be prepared for, and how can they help their slow child cope with many problems?

Clouds are starting to gather at school

In the first years of his life, a slow child practically does not cause anxiety in adults with his behavior. On the contrary, he is very “comfortable”: he sleeps a lot, is not capricious, and does not run around like crazy. Except that in the sandbox he always gives in to his more nimble peers. Yes, in kindergarten the teacher grumbles: “Everyone has been walking for a long time, but this one is only lacing up his first shoe.” But for now these are only minor inconveniences.

When sending a slow child to school, parents often do not suspect that from now on the requirements for him will change dramatically, and what was previously an insignificant feature can cause serious trouble. The first few months may pass without any particular complaints - the child is quiet, without conflict, and low educational success is attributed to difficulties in adaptation.

The second half of the year can be a time of unpleasant discoveries. The whole class has somehow adapted to a single rhythm, and only one thing catastrophically destroys it - it constantly requires either additional time or individual assignments. An indescribable nightmare in his notebooks - also due to falling out of the general rhythm. The most difficult job for a first-grader is mastering writing. The teacher asks to find a certain point in the copybook, and: “We write an oval, draw a line down, round the loop...”. Everyone is on time, but the slow child is hopelessly behind in the first seconds. The teacher’s voice now does not help him, like the others, but hinders him, confuses him, because she is already guiding the writing of the third letter, and he is still struggling with the first one alone.

Reading also becomes a challenge. In many schools to this day, the teacher must present children who read quickly as a result of their work. So he hurries the child: “Read quickly! Why are you stuck on one word?”, and he begins to fuss, stretch his head, read louder... but not faster.

When such a child is called to the board, he becomes lost, confused and silent, even if he knows the material well. Tests, like any test tasks that cause increased nervousness, also give disastrous results. Clouds begin to gather over the head of the unfortunate slow student. The teacher complains to parents about poor academic performance, inattention, and indifference to learning.

But if you test such a child in a calm environment, it will most likely turn out that his intelligence is normal, and he copes well with all educational tasks.
Slow and dull? No! Balanced and reasonable!

To avoid such troubles, you can take some preventive measures in a timely manner. First of all, take a close look at your slow child. (By the way, only those children can be considered slow who do everything at a snail’s pace - walk, eat, talk - and do not from time to time procrastinate by shirking unloved activities.)

Slow children speak little and reluctantly, have difficulty getting along with other children, tend to be overweight, cannot stand up for themselves, and have difficulty switching to another type of activity. Patient and loving parents can see not only the shortcomings behind these qualities, but also turn them into advantages. Slow children are careful and thorough. They do not become the life of the party, but they really value friendship and good treatment. In childhood, this can bring disappointment: more emotionally active children first offer to be friends, and then turn away. And at this moment, parents must support the child who is truly suffering, having lost the contact that was established with such difficulty. But later, in youth, loyalty and reliability will be appreciated by friends. Because your child will grow into an attentive, thoughtful and sympathetic listener, who can be even more attractive than a good conversationalist.

Another feature of slow children is their tendency towards everything familiar and lived-in. This is probably a way of protecting themselves from a fast, aggressive and dangerous, in their opinion, world. They ask to read books they already know, love to walk in well-known places, take a long time to get used to unfamiliar circumstances and look closely at new people. Therefore, if you have already found a school and a future teacher for your child, try to get to her to prepare for school. Let the child have time to adapt and get used to it.

A large amount of new information or impressions frightens a slow child. At the same time, he cannot be completely left to his own devices: he needs to be pushed, but in moderation. For example, if you want to introduce him to letters, numbers, multiplication tables or geometric figures, you should not cover the walls with all the corresponding tables at once, or lay out flashcards, cubes, or educational materials on the table. It is better to place all this gradually, adding new subjects to familiar ones that have already been mastered.

Slow children are sensitive to any sudden and radical changes - from the arrangement of the workplace to the daily routine. It is important for them to be confident in at least some inviolability of the rules and way of life. For them, it is especially necessary to carefully select their future place of study, since they perceive the need to move to another class or school as a disaster. If the child is facing some changes in his life - a summer trip to an unfamiliar place, relocation, the arrival of a youngest child in the family - try to inform him about them as early as possible, explain in detail how his life will work in the new circumstances.
Don't argue with your child's nature!

Before entering school, it is very important to socialize the child, introduce him to a group of peers or slightly younger children - in the yard, in a circle. It would be good if in this children's company there were several more equally slow children.

But the decision to send a timid, slow, overweight child to a sports section should be very balanced. Such children, as a rule, categorically dislike physical education and elements of competition. The desire of parents to stir up their minds with the help of sports can have the exact opposite result: the child will acquire a persistent dislike for any physical activity. By the way, parents of slow schoolchildren should take into account that every physical education lesson is a real test for the child, with the rare exception of those who are lucky with a good teacher.

But slow children most often willingly and successfully engage in manual labor: embroider, sculpt, draw, weave beads, carve wood, garden. Such individual, painstaking, sometimes monotonous work at a pace convenient for the child, as well as results appreciated by others - all this can become a stepping stone to success in other areas. One of my students stubbornly remained silent for almost the entire first grade. In response to all attempts to start the slightest conversation, Ira frowned, pursed her lips and, at best, answered in monosyllables: “yes” or “no.” The results had to be assessed only on written work. Luckily for her (and mine!), the girl chose a ceramics class and at the final lesson, presenting her work to her classmates, she was completely transformed. Kneading a piece of clay and giving it a shape, Ira talked about the properties of different clays, which grade should be chosen for which products, and sculpting techniques. It was a real miracle: the girl told the story slowly, in time with the movements of her hands, but smoothly, freely, with enthusiasm. The effect turned out to be lasting. Ira, of course, did not become a model of eloquence, but from that moment on in class she answered quite calmly.
Don't push, but help

The discrepancy between the internal pace of a slow child and the speed of surrounding life is the main cause of his problems. It is especially difficult for those who have energetic, active, “fast” parents. The only thing worse can be the case when an assertive mother tries to remake in her own way a child who is “all like his retarded father.” Or the father strives to “make a real man” out of a plump quiet man who looks like his mother. Alas, nothing good comes from such re-education. First of all, parents need to understand and come to terms with the fact that the child has such a structure of the nervous system. It's like height, eye color, ear for music.

Therefore, the worst thing you can do is to constantly urge and prod a slow child. Imagine being irritably demanded every day to be taller. Of course, you can jump, walk on tiptoes or on stilts, but not for long and at the cost of enormous effort. A child whom you want to adjust to your pace feels about the same way. Just think about it: every day, from morning to evening, a child hears about any reason - faster, faster, faster. And from fatigue and confusion it “slows down” even more.

Try to break out of this vicious circle, arrange one day without “adjustments”. The word “faster” is strictly prohibited, and you are honestly trying to tune in to the leisurely pace of your child’s life. Many parents and teachers are sure that only their constant spurring makes the child at least somehow move. You will see that this is not the case. Without shouting, he will do everything at his usual pace. Some parents who have endured this difficult test report the timid and amazed looks they receive when their child, instead of the usual irritated remark, hears a friendly invitation to breakfast, a calm offer of help, or the question: “How long will it take you to be ready?” And only after seeing this look do they understand how hard it was for the child to hear the endless screams.

Of course, slow children catastrophically do not fit into the intense pace of life of busy parents who always need to run: to work, to school for the children, shopping, to the clinic, home, where there is also a lot of things to do. The only thing you can do as an adult, organized and energetic person is to provide special periods of time for your child to rock. In the morning, wake him up a little earlier than usual (he needs time to transition from sleep to wakefulness), plan more time for eating, dressing, and getting ready. When doing homework, give him a break after each subject; remember that the child has difficulty switching from one type of activity to another. He slowly gets used to new work, so it’s better to start with simpler subjects.

At school, due to slowness and timidity, there can be a serious threat of failure. If this has already happened, try to get to a competent psychologist and get test results about the child’s normal level of intelligence. And also - about low mobility of nervous processes (or about hypodynamic syndrome - the more solemn it sounds, the better). This, of course, does not mean that from now on the child will receive ideally comfortable conditions in the classroom. But based on this conclusion, you can convincingly ask the teacher not to call the child to the blackboard for now, not to evaluate him based on oral answers, and to give him additional time during recess for finishing. By the way, answers at the board can be replaced with pre-set creative works, even beyond the program. The child will have time to prepare and gather courage for the planned lesson.

When checking the notebooks of slow children, the teacher sometimes suspects that one of the adults did the homework - homework and class work are so strikingly different. But the simple fact is that at home the child does not feel constant stress due to lack of time, this seriously improves handwriting and makes mistakes disappear. A psychologist's report can calm these suspicions. By the way, a psychologist can recommend special activities that will help somewhat compensate for your child’s slowness.
Emphasis - on the merits

In conclusion, I would like to give parents some more important tips that will help their slow child gain calm and self-confidence. And you better understand it and reduce excessive demands.
Don't push a slow child every minute!
Plan your time specifically to get started in a new activity.
Don’t scold him for being slow: the child must be sure that you love him for who he is. Don't forget to talk about this more often.
Don’t set him as an example of more active, successful child leaders, don’t poison his soul. Perhaps your child often compares himself to them - sociable, successful, loved by everyone.
Praise your child for his strengths. Slow children, under the weight of eternal ridicule and complaints, easily lose faith in themselves.
When choosing a club or other extracurricular activity, most likely, you will have to take the initiative: find out the direction and schedule, convince that it might be interesting, conduct several trial classes and not insist if the child categorically does not want to continue.
Choose a more phlegmatic primary school teacher for your child—one who moves slowly and speaks calmly.
Create an acceptable and stable daily routine, and inform your child in advance about sudden changes in life.
Be prepared for the fact that the fountain of pleasures (fireworks, a trip to the circus, a dozen guests and a mountain of gifts), which you carefully prepared for the holiday, may not cause the jubilation that you expected.
Take special care with your reading ability: do not push, ask the teacher not to scold for slow reading, do not pay attention to bad grades. Let him read as slowly as he likes, but with pleasure. In this case, books and reference books will become a powerful tool for the development of a slow child in a rather closed world.

Elena Kutsenko, teacher