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If you are used to doing everything quickly, without delay, remembering every task and completing it on time, slow people can annoy you.

Especially when your own child hesitates, from whom you expect something specific without even thinking about it. Of course, we expect success, luck, and understanding from children. And, sometimes, they seem older to us than they really are, and we demand unbearable things from them.

But what to do if a slow child was born in your family and this became a stumbling block for everyone, and sometimes a reason for screaming and quarrels?

Causes of childhood slowness

If you are faced with the problem that your child is very slow, what should you do and what should you definitely not do?

You shouldn’t immediately worry that the child is “something different.” Perhaps he is not even slow, he is just too small for some actions, or you and he have different temperaments - what is slow for you is normal for him.

If your child is very slow, think about why:

• Phlegmatic people are very calm people, slow and thorough. They do not get irritated over trifles, they are not in a hurry;

Take a closer look, perhaps your baby has such a character. It is useless to convince and retrain here; you need to get used to it and accept the child for who he is. Otherwise, neurological problems and discord in your relationship may arise.

• Children under 3 years old are not that nimble yet, they are just learning to dress themselves and, of course, they do not yet have a sense of responsibility;

They don’t understand why it’s bad to be late and how to understand that the allotted 10-15 minutes have already passed for some task. And my fingers still don’t obey well.

• There are children, especially boys, who cannot do two things at the same time;

And while you are shouting at the child that he is taking a long time to get ready, he cannot do anything - he listens to you.

In order for him to concentrate on one thing, it is necessary to remove all external stimuli, not turn on the TV, radio, or talk to him. Only then will he be able to calmly do his homework or get dressed for a walk.

• Attracting attention is another “non-painful” reason for procrastination;

Think about whether you are attentive enough to your child, whether you always listen to what he has to say, and whether you communicate enough.

Know! Surprisingly, very often children use tricks to attract negative attention in order to somehow get a response from parents or other children.

• Children who are prone to thinking, dreaming, thinking, very creative and thoughtful may forget about where they are and what they are doing. They have their head in the clouds, inventing their own worlds and fantastic inventions.

Try to direct it in the right direction, but you still have to adjust it.

Slowness as a physiological problem

It happens that a child does everything slowly and due to health problems.

1. If a child has a congenital or acquired chronic disease, it can affect the nervous system and result in inhibition of actions. That is, slowness is the result of weakness and lack of strength, fatigue;
2. Difficult childbirth, pregnancy with complications, congenital hypoxia. This also affects. Such children must be observed by a neurologist;

Under no circumstances should you shout at your child, tease him or scold him. Otherwise, the problem can only get worse, and there is a risk of nervous tics and stuttering.

1. Left-handers do the opposite, using objects differently than right-handers, which slows them down. Choose scissors and a pen for a left-handed person, and most importantly, do not overtrain! This can provoke even greater slowness;
2. If you have recently moved, transferred your baby to another kindergarten, or another child was born in the family, any strong change affects the psyche and, as a result, we experience a slowdown in actions. Try to treat with understanding and patience, encourage;
3. Too strict demands on a child can lead to slowness - the baby does everything with caution so as not to make mistakes and not cause parental disapproval.

What to do

How to help a slow child if his slowness is not associated with illness:

• Explain each action step by step: it is better to “chew” once than to be annoyed every time because of a child’s misunderstanding;

Perhaps some point is difficult for the baby, and you are nervous because it seems too simple to you. Just imagine that absolutely everything is difficult for a little one - after all, he is just learning, and this is always a difficult process.

• Don't rush to help every time you think your child is doing something too slowly - give him time to try it himself first;

Lead the process, encourage, advise if necessary, praise when it works. It also happens that an overly impatient mother simply does not allow the child to do something on his own and he deliberately hesitates, waiting for her to intervene.

• Do not rush and do not scold - the baby loses faith in himself, it begins to seem to him that he is not capable of anything on his own. It’s just that some children need to be monitored as they carry out your instructions, because otherwise they get distracted;
• If you are going somewhere, encourage your child to prepare the necessary things in advance;

Let him take out and hang on the chair the clothes he will wear, check everything, and schoolchildren must pack their backpack and prepare their school uniform in the evening. This way you don't have to rush the children.

• And if you, moreover, tell your baby in advance what you are going to do together, where you will go or what task you will give him, then at least some kind of plan will form in his head.

It will help avoid procrastination and disagreement if you discuss the upcoming actions in advance.

Tips for parents of children with neurological problems

1. Remember that the baby is not “slowing you down” out of spite, don’t let it make you angry or irritate you;

After all, children sense our mood and will feel like a burden, the subject of their mother’s frustration and anger. And, if you start screaming, this will definitely not spur the baby on; he will only slow down even more, because he will be afraid that he is wrong and bad.

1. Get used to the routine. Let each action be at the same time every day. Here the body itself gets used to it;
2. Rituals are a great tool. Children remember them like a rhyme; it’s easier for them if everything is repeated exactly every day;

1. If a child speaks slowly, do not finish his words for him, do not try to guess what he wants to say, do not make fun of him. Learn patience and the baby will learn the required speed;
2. Train your speed with games and tasks.

Do not force him to rush, but gradually speed it up, making sure that the child has time. Let, for example, there be some sequence of movements that the child will repeat after you. At first very slowly, then, each time, a little faster.

Be patient. All people are different and sooner or later you and your baby will definitely find a common language!

The mother of seventh-grader Alyosha complained that her son had the same trouble at school every day. The teacher asks him a question, and Alyosha stands and looks at the ceiling, immersed in his thoughts. The teacher finally says: - Sit down, two! The boy returns to his place, the lesson goes on as usual, and suddenly the answer clearly appears in Alyosha’s head. He raises his hand: - I remembered! And the teacher waves it off: “It’s too late!”

The child’s mother turned to the psychologist with a question: “Is it possible to make him remember the answers faster?” He's a smart boy!

The mother of eight-year-old Dasha faced a similar problem. The girl is in second grade and does homework for 3-4 hours, although she is not given much. Dasha just can’t concentrate: she writes a few letters and looks out the window. As a result, the girl herself gets tired from sitting at the table for such a long time and asks her mother to let her run. Mom looks at the notebook with bitterness: not even half of the exercise is there.

How can I teach her to work faster? - asks mom. – It’s a pity to spend the whole day on lessons!

........................................ ........................................ ......................................

I think these situations are familiar to everyone - once upon a time we ourselves were slow, for one reason or another, to do what was assigned, one of our classmates sometimes (I’m not afraid of this definition) was “stupid” in class - there are many such examples, you just have to try recall...

But you and I have already grown up, we have children who suddenly begin to literally broadcast “footage of our childhood.” We understand that they need help... How can we help our children minimize the number of manifestations of “slow down moments” in life?

A child can be slow for several reasons. It is important to establish these reasons before you begin to solve the problem using pedagogical methods:

He is phlegmatic. Perhaps slowness is a feature of your child’s temperament. A phlegmatic person is characterized by a low level of mental activity, slowness, inexpressive facial expressions, and sluggish speech. It is very difficult for phlegmatic people to switch from one type of activity to another, to adapt to a new environment. If the reason for a student’s slowness is temperament, you may have noticed this even in preschool age. Phlegmatic children can play with one toy for hours or listen to the same fairy tale for a month. At school, such children usually excel in one subject, but do not have enough time for others. They have very stable emotions and views. It is difficult to convince them of anything.
After all, temperament is an innate property of the nervous system, so it is impossible to change it much. However, there are methods that teach a phlegmatic person to work quickly, which means that they help him adapt in society (after all, slow people irritate many people).

What are these methods?
1. Turn on the timer. When a phlegmatic person is immersed in an activity, such as doing homework, he may forget about time and spend hours analyzing one task or re-reading an interesting paragraph over and over again. Therefore, in order for him to control himself, it is necessary to agree: “You only have an hour for homework. I set a timer and when it goes off, class time is up.”
It is best to use a desktop electronic clock with a timer function for this purpose. They should not be directly in front of the child's eyes so as not to distract him. They need to be placed somewhere on the side so that the student can see how much time is left until the end. Of course, if a child does not manage to finish everything on time, you cannot take away his textbooks and kick him out from the table. But it is necessary to point out to him that he is late. After this, it wouldn’t hurt to turn on another timer so that the student can estimate how many minutes he lacks.
If the child managed to meet the deadline, be sure to praise him. In her notebook, the mother can give the student grades for how quickly he completes his homework. It’s great if the time allotted for lessons ends with the beginning of some interesting program. Then the child will have an incentive to complete the task before the appointed minute, so as not to be late for the cartoon or movie.
2. Let's overtake the school! Since it is difficult for a phlegmatic person to switch from one subject to another, at the beginning of summer it would be advisable to buy the child textbooks for the next grade so that he reads them all in turn. Unlike other children, a phlegmatic person will not refuse such a pastime, because he is not a supporter of outdoor games. The main thing is not to put pressure on him or push him. This is not an assignment, it is a chance to get acquainted with school material in advance and at a relaxed pace. Perhaps, at the dacha, sitting in a chair, the child will read a history textbook from beginning to end, and then take up geography... He will be able to enjoy slow learning. And there will be no these constant, hated switchings from one subject to another.
You can “overtake school” during the winter holidays and on weekends. There is no need to worry that a child who has familiarized himself with the program in advance will not be interested in school. A phlegmatic person loves to repeat the same thing over and over again, and listens to old material even with more pleasure than new material.
3. Let's compete. A phlegmatic child should at least temporarily be sent to a sports section where there are speed competitions. This could be swimming, running, skiing. Most likely, he will not become a great athlete, but he will learn to concentrate his energy, focus on the main thing, and gather his strength. All this will be very useful in life.

What if he gets distracted? Some children do everything slowly because they cannot concentrate. This problem most often occurs among first-graders. It is connected with the fact that the child’s voluntary attention is not sufficiently developed.

Voluntary attention is the ability of a person, under the influence of intention and a set goal, to concentrate on an activity that may be uninteresting and difficult at the moment. He understands that, having sacrificed immediate pleasure, he will receive much greater pleasure when the goal is achieved.

For example, a first grader is more interested in rolling a typewriter on the table than in solving a problem. However, he understands that if he completes the assignment, he will get an A tomorrow, and the pleasure from a good grade will be greater than from rolling the car. Voluntary attention is based on will; the primary school student learns to exercise will in order to achieve a goal.

How to help a child if his voluntary attention is not sufficiently developed?
1. Motivation. You need to talk to your child about his future. How does he see himself in 10-15 years? What will he do, will he have a family, children? How is he going to make money? The child must feel like a member of society and understand that his current studies determine how he will live in the future. However, one should not look only into the distant future. We must try to arouse the child’s interest in learning by showing how his knowledge can be applied in practice. For example, you can let him count the money and ask if it is enough for the necessary purchases.
2. Exercises. There are special exercises for developing voluntary attention.
For example, a child is given a sheet of paper, colored pencils and asked to draw ten triangles in a row. When this work is completed, the child is warned about the need to be careful, since the instruction is pronounced only once. “Be careful, shade the third, seventh and ninth triangles with a red pencil.” If the child asks again, you must answer “Do as you understand.” If he has completed the first task, he can continue working, gradually complicating the tasks. If the child asks again, you must answer “Do as you understand.” If he has completed the first task, he can continue working, gradually complicating the tasks.

What if something is bothering him? Some children do everything slowly because they are afraid of making a mistake. This is associated with anxiety and self-doubt. As a rule, anxious children are afraid of either their parents, or teachers, or peers, and sometimes all at once.

When parents punish a child for failing, he is terrified of making a mistake. On the test he is overcome with fear. The hand refuses to write, the child rereads the task many times, and when he writes a line, he checks it again and again.

If a student is afraid of a teacher, he cannot concentrate in his presence, but with another teacher he does everything quickly and well.

The child is afraid of his peers in 2 cases. Or he enjoys great authority among them, and it is simply unacceptable for him to receive a bad grade. Or his peers view him negatively and are happy to laugh at his failure. However, this is not a complete list of anxiety options.

It happens that a child is stressed after experiencing a disaster, parental divorce, or the death of a loved one. This also increases his overall level of anxiety, which affects the speed at which he writes classwork and homework. In this case, you need to try to find the source of anxiety, and then decide: either to eliminate it (for example, leave a bad teacher), or to help the student adapt (if it is impossible to eliminate this or that circumstance).

It happens that he is preoccupied with another problem... The child does everything slowly, because all his thoughts revolve around some important problem, and the lessons fall out of his sphere of attention. You have to study, but he, like an overloaded computer, freezes, looking at one point. Problems troubling a child can be very different. Ask your baby if he is hungry, maybe cold, or if something hurts.

Agree, it’s hard to think about exercising if you have a headache, stomach or toothache! But, unfortunately, not every child is ready to admit this to their parents. Problems can also arise in the family: the child is worried about a quarrel between his parents or his grandmother’s illness. Very often, children are worried about conflicts among their peers: a friend betrayed them, they liked a girl but preferred someone else, they don’t have a fashionable jacket...

Thus, if parents are concerned about the slowness of their child, they should consider what in a particular case may be causing this problem:
How long has it been since the child became slow?
- After what incident?
- What people did he communicate with at the moment when his slowness became noticeable?
These questions can be discussed with the child himself or given to him to read this article (if he can read well enough).

Perhaps he himself will find the reason for his slowness and suggest a way out of the current situation.

I think it’s worth formulating a general reminder for all adults who are faced with a slow child. The lines below will be relevant for educators, preschool teachers, primary and secondary school teachers, and parents.

MEMO FOR AN ADULT “FEATURES OF POSITIVE INTERACTION WITH A SLOW CHILD”:

Organizing the life of a slow child requires the fulfillment of certain conditions:

1. Love and accept your child for who he is.
2. Talk calmly to a slow child. Do not be hasty or nervous when doing something with a slow child.
3. Don't push him, encourage and encourage him with a word/look/touch. Give him extra time so that he can complete some task, craft or drawing, etc. without haste, even if you have to finish it in several stages.
4. Be patient. Working with slow children is very tiring and requires the ability to restrain yourself and not raise your voice.
5. Develop a sense of time in your child.
6. Keep a clear daily routine. When and what to do, in what order. Never allow your child to work “for a while.” Time pressure is strictly contraindicated for a slow child.
7. Slow children need constant work responsibilities: hanging clothes in place; take care of your appearance; wash your small items, etc.
8. Promote in every possible way the development of self-confidence. Work with him using “positive reinforcement”: in case of failures, encourage him, and emphasize the most insignificant success. Always create a situation for success. Conduct the training in a playful manner and against a good emotional background.
9. Always remember that such a child needs time to “build up.”
10. Use anticipatory influence techniques. Remind in advance and create conditions that make it easier for the child to complete the task at a faster pace.
11. Involve in joint activities. The child, infected by the general mood, strives to coordinate his actions with the actions of others.
12. Involve your child in physical education and rhythm classes.
13. Switch the child’s attention more often during activities.