Body language signals associated with the thumbs. Learning to understand body language. Hands folded behind back

It is common for a person to express his emotions and feelings in the process of communication, regardless of oral presentation or in the form of written messages. People, in direct contact with each other, using facial expressions, body language and gestures bring bright colors to the story. It becomes possible to understand whether the interlocutor was interested in this topic or left indifferent.

Non-verbal communication. Truth or myth?

Some doubt the existence of body language, considering all conversations on this topic to be empty fiction.

Opponents of the theory of postures and gestures argue that changes in body position occur for completely different reasons. For example, when sitting, it is more convenient for a person to cross his arms if there are no armrests, and not at all because he is a misanthrope.

People start yawning not only because they start to get bored. Lack of oxygen in a cramped office or overwork can trigger this process. Therefore, before formulating conclusions, it is necessary to understand why the interlocutor began to actively gesticulate or rotate an object in his hands.

An experiment will help reveal sign language. And the subjects can be friends and relatives, whose facial expressions, postures and gestures change in different life situations. But in no case should you impose and put pressure, otherwise you can damage many years of friendship and good relationships.

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal means of communication is the process of transmitting thoughts without the use of speech - the second signaling system. It absorbs 60–80% of veiled information.

Each of us, when communicating with an opponent who competently sets out the essence of the matter and argues with facts, often feels some kind of catch in his words. But, despite the reliability and veracity of the information, intuition suggests that you should not rely entirely on this person. And with further communication, discomfort is felt, the person is looking for something to complain about.

And, indeed, the interlocutor is betrayed by changes in facial expressions, posture and gestures that contradict his smooth presentation. A certain inconsistency appears and serious concerns arise that he is not acting in your interests at all.

It is difficult for a person to hold back emotions for a long time; they must find a way out. But due to circumstances, rules of decency and norms of society, we are not free to surrender to the will of feelings and express them by changing posture, facial expressions and gestures. Often this behavior becomes the norm and turns into a habit.

Examples of nonverbal communication

• If a girl, showing off her wrist, communicates with a member of the opposite sex, she lets him know that she is ready to get closer to him. And if he also paints his lips with bright lipstick, then he has truly become the object of her passion.

• There is a common method of establishing contact with new acquaintances: you should copy his gestures and postures. If the interlocutor crossed his arms, you can repeat this body movement. This manipulation promotes non-verbal unity. There is a whole set of such small tricks.

To grasp the true meaning, you need to pay close attention to the position of the interlocutor's hands and feet.

Mainly gestures and postures emphasize the truth, and sometimes contradict what was said.

It is difficult to believe a person with crossed limbs convincing another of good intentions. It is unlikely that he will fulfill his promise. Surely he uses the location and trust of his partners for his personal interests.

Through gestures and posture you can hide some information from your opponents. Despite the casualness and ease of communication, the posture makes it clear that the owner does not intend to share important information with anyone.

Psychology of Gestures

Alan Pease, a famous psychologist, is called "Mr. Body Language." The author has published his works in millions of copies. Alana Pease set out to not only teach the reader to “decipher” body language, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. Even the slightest changes do not escape his attention, up to the dilation of the pupils and the closing of the eyelids.

Firstly, there is an opportunity to establish communications.

Secondly, it is possible with a high degree of probability to calculate a person’s further actions.

From the standpoint of psychological knowledge, Alan focuses on the distinctive features of behavior and gestures in women and men.

In addition to gender differences, the body movements of managers and subordinates differ sharply. Watching a conversation, you can record the rapid change of emotions.

Nonverbal behavior and gestures

• If a friend is hunched over, this indicates that he has been severely offended or has experienced severe stress. The exorbitant “severity of the problems” does not allow him to straighten his shoulders. He feels discomfort because he cannot cope with the situation and thus closes down.

• If the interlocutor leans towards the speaker, this means that he is interested in the topic of the conversation. So he tries to get closer to the source of information.

• By tilting his head and simultaneously lowering his eyelids, the interlocutor expresses complete approval. There is no doubt about his respectful attitude. On the contrary, if a person often touches his face with his hands, touching his eyes or the corners of his mouth, he does not trust you.

• An individual's condition is revealed by his hands. When excited and irritated, it is common for a person to stroke himself, straighten his hair, or roll and fiddle with the first objects he comes across in his hands. Sometimes he puts his fingers in his mouth. In this case, he needs the support and approval of his opponent.

• Trust, openness, and willingness to cooperate are demonstrated by open palms. If he doesn't cross his elbows or legs, he will appeal to you. And if he puts his hands behind his back and raises his chin high, he thereby demonstrates his superiority.

• To convince your partner of a serious and responsible approach to further cooperation, you should use the following method. During business negotiations, it is necessary to mentally draw a potential partner a triangle between the eyes above the bridge of the nose and look into this area.

75 signs of body language according to Max Eggert

	Physical sign	Possible values
	Adam's apple movements	Anxiety, lies
	Hands in front of the body, touching a purse, jewelry, shirt collar, etc.	Uncertainty
	One arm across the body, secured to the other arm	Uncertainty
	Hands and palms open	Openness, sincerity
	Arms crossed on chest	Shutting off someone or something not recognized, expressing a negative attitude
	Hands crossed, one holding the other	Uncertainty
	Hands holding a purse, cup, etc. like behind a barrier	Uncertainty
	Shrinking	Desire to protect yourself
	Blinking (fast)
	Deep breath	Relaxation, agreement
	Stroking the chin	Thinking about a decision, evaluating
	Sincere smile	Greeting, desire for rapprochement, approval
	Rubbing eyes	Confusion, fatigue
	Extinguished look	Boredom, overthinking
	Touching the face (including mouth, eyes, ears, neck)	Trying to hide the truth or nervousness
	Finger (glasses, etc.) in the mouth	Evaluation or waiting for confirmation
	Direction of toes	Indication of where attention is directed (toward the door, if the person wants to leave, to the interlocutor, if he is attractive)
	Stomping
	Stroking your interlocutor	Desire for intimacy
	Preening	Showing interest in your interlocutor
	Palm chopping	Aggressiveness
	Wrist circumference behind back	Complete trust or vice versa - frustration
	Hand resting on head	Interested evaluation
	Stroking the back of the neck	Feeling threatened or angry
	Face resting on open palms, elbows on the table	A feminine trick to make yourself look more attractive or attract a man's attention
	Clenched fists	Frustration (the stronger the frustration, the higher the fists)
	Hands behind your back	Confidence, authority
	Hands in pockets	Trying to appear confident, “Convince me,” or showing aloofness
	Hands with elbows spread on knees	Using space to demonstrate dominance
	Hands open, palms up	Submission
	Rubbing palms	Hope for success
	Hands clasped	Confidence, relaxation, arrogance
	Support on hands	Expressing power through the use of space
	Handshake with elbow	Attempt to demonstrate close friendship
	Extending your hand with your palm down	Trying to apply pressure
	Extending your hand with your palm up	Sign of submission
	Handshake, other hand on shoulder	Attempt to demonstrate intimacy
	Handshake with the other hand on top	Desire to show dominance
	Handshake with vertical palms and approximately equal strength	Showing respect, recognizing equality and “inviting” rapport
	Handshake with wrist wrap	Showing joy when meeting. Acceptable in close relationships
	Gesticulation in front of the face	Negative attitude; lies or nervousness
	Increased breathing	Fear or anxiety
	Forward lean	Interest, approval
	Crossed legs	Withdrawn, submissive or protective posture; for women - a sign of comfort
	The leg is crossed over the leg so that the one farthest from the neighbor is closest to him	Sign of approval or sympathy
	Four legs: one ankle on the other’s knee	Confidence, dominance, competitive posture
	Socks apart (men)	Openness or dominance
	Legs spread	Using space to assert leadership
	Lip biting	Anxiety, reluctance to speak up
	Licking lips	Anxiety, attention seeking
	Looking at the clock	Desire to leave, boredom, indifference
	Mirroring
	Covering your mouth	The desire to ask if someone is lying to you, or the reluctance to say too much
	Moving backwards	Disagreement or anxiety
	Forward movement
	Palm bent, index finger pointing forward	The desire to achieve agreement or submission
	Palms facing down	Show of power
	Palms facing up	Agreement, willingness to listen
	Preening	Desire to be attractive
	Taking a quick or sharp breath	Surprise, shock
	Sitting opposite each other	Competitive or defensive position
	Sitting side by side, chairs slightly turned towards each other	Cooperation position
	Smile with just lips	Submissiveness or insincerity
	Smile all over your face	Greeting, goodwill, invitation to recognition
		Arrogance or insincerity
	Speech is free and fast	Passion
	Sudden slowing of speech
	Full height pose	The desire for dominance, for attractiveness
	Steepling	Trust or, when listening, the sign “Convince me!”
	Clenched teeth	Frustration, anger
	Playing with your thumbs, such as putting them in your jacket or trouser pockets	Sign of superiority, dominance, authority
	Thumbs tucked into waistband or pockets	Sexual Aggression Pose
	Increased tics	Anxiety

General understanding of body language

By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociologist, specialist in the field of nonverbal speech, emerged. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, a nonverbal person enjoys observing the nonverbal signs and signals of human communication. He watches them at formal functions, on the beach, on television, at work - everywhere where people interact with each other. He studies human behavior, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost incredible that in more than a million years of human evolution, nonverbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and their existence became known to the public only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research on nonverbal aspects of communication done by behavioral scientists before 1970, but even today, most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the founders of nonverbal communication; for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad based on how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. When talkies became popular and less attention was paid to the nonverbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with strong verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.

Regarding the technical side of the study of the problem of body language; Perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of "body language", and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are recognized by researchers today all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded more than 1,000 nonverbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that the transfer of information occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through audio means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissle has done similar research regarding the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence on average lasts no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in a conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of information is transmitted using non-verbal means of communication.

Most researchers share the view that the verbal channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to “discuss” interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can send a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what kind of movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing a particular phrase. Conversely, Birdwissle learned to determine what kind of voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.

Many people find it difficult to accept that humans are still biological beings. Homo sapiens is a species of large, hairless ape that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. It is surprising that the human animal is rarely aware that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates.

Sensitivity, Intuition and Premonitions

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues with verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a feeling, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone is telling a lie, what we really mean is that we have noticed a discrepancy between the person’s body language and the words that person has spoken. Lecturers call this audience sense. For example, if listeners sit deep in their chairs with their chins down and their arms folded, the receptive person will have a feeling that his message will not be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed to interest the audience. And an unreceptive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out a man’s secret in his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.

For the first few years, a mother relies only on non-verbal channels of communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to their intuition, women are better suited to negotiate than men.

Innate, Genetic, Acquired and Culturally Conditioned Signals.

Although much research has been done, there is heated debate about whether nonverbal cues are innate or learned, whether they are genetically transmitted or acquired in some other way. Evidence was obtained through observations of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn nonverbal language through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made of the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives - monkeys and macaques - was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures can be classified. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, suggesting that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Eibl - Eibesfeldt found that the ability to smile in children who are deaf or blind from birth is manifested without any learning or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Zorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied facial expressions in people from five widely different cultures. They found that different cultures used similar facial expressions when expressing certain emotions, leading them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, are you crossing your right arm over your left or your left arm over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done it. In one case they will feel comfortable, in another case they will not. From this we can conclude that this is perhaps a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some gestures are learned and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting with the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat with the left sleeve. When a man passes a woman on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes, turning away from him. Does she do this instinctively to protect her breasts? Is this a woman's innate gesture, or has she learned it unconsciously by watching other women?

Most nonverbal behavior is learned, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. Let's look at these aspects of body language.

Basic Communication Gestures and Their Origins

All over the world, basic communication gestures are the same. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they have an angry look.

Few people know that communication between people consists not only of verbal contact, communication and verbal transmission of information, there is also body language and gestures. This is a non-verbal technique that involves giving signals and signs through movements, facial expressions, glances, as well as manipulation of different parts of the body, that is, gestures. Experts using such data can recognize lies, aggression and many other emotions.

Particular attention should be paid to non-verbal signs, as this will allow you to read between the lines, see truth and lies, and much more. Such skills will be useful to a person not only in personal relationships, but also at work, negotiations, in a team of employees, and at interviews. Therefore, it is worth considering each type of gesture and non-verbal presentation of information, gleaning the necessary information.

Many years ago, scientists and famous scientific figures wrote in their works that by the movements of a person’s body one can understand the mood, as well as the semantic message of information, but the issue of body languages ​​and gestures began to be studied much later. The first figure in this field was the American scientist and psychologist Paul Ekman, who in 1954 studied the language of facial expressions and gestures in people.

Open Gestures

If a person wants to know how sincere and open his opponent is in communication, psychology identifies special gestures of openness.

Namely:

• during a conversation, the opponent gestures and holds his hands with his palms up (if you look at children, when they have done something wrong, they tend to put their hands behind their backs or lower their palms down);
• during an open and honest conversation, the interlocutor will be close to the opponent, gradually reducing the distance between him and himself;
• during business negotiations, a good sign would be for opponents to unbutton their jacket buttons;
• Straightened legs indicate an honest and sincere conversation.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

Today, in many developed countries, knowledge of body and body language is a must for every recruiting manager. In this regard, the topic has become increasingly in demand in other countries, and the benefits of knowing a non-verbal language have been officially proven.

Closed gestures

Separately, psychology examines non-verbal closed gestures, which manifest themselves in the form of protection from the interlocutor due to hostility, negative attitude and hypocrisy. Closed gestures include the following manifestations:

• crossing your arms in the chest area, which demonstrates self-doubt and hostility towards your interlocutor;
• the interlocutor sits with his legs crossed, but not because of convenience and comfort, but because he is fencing himself off from an unpleasant opponent;
• “incomplete barrier”, when a person bends one arm at the elbow and presses it to the body, and straightens the other and places it on his knee, showing caution and mistrust in a non-verbal way.

Psychologists note that body language shapes your personality, so it is extremely important to monitor your body during negotiations or interviews, avoiding closed gestures. An experienced person will immediately recognize a negative attitude, self-doubt, anxiety or hostility towards himself, even if the person verbally behaves impeccably.

Erotic gestures

You can also understand the body language of a man or woman in love by non-verbal manifestations of the body and gestures. Psychologists say that women are more likely to have pronounced erotic gestures, but men are characterized by restraint and control over emotions. A woman’s body language suggests the following manifestations:

• display of the wrist, for example, while smoking, when a woman turns her hand outward, showing the inside of the wrist;
• touching hair, twirling curls or stroking them, throwing hair back;
• licking lips and slightly open mouth during conversation and even silence;
• taking off your shoes and swinging your leg, which attracts the attention of the opposite sex;
• direct eye-to-eye gaze, smile, during eye contact the eyes first drop down and then move to the side;
• stroking hands on knees, thighs, calves;
• crossing the ankles of the legs.

Such verbal methods of flirting and making advances, of course, are inherent in the female sex, since by their nature and temperament they are prone to playful communication and luring a partner. Men, in this regard, act directly and without hints, so a guy in love can be recognized by his actions.

False gestures

The most popular question is how to recognize a lie by non-verbal signs, since in modern society every second person does not shy away from lying for his own benefit. Psychologists say that most liars give themselves away with several gestures during this behavior, for example:

• hands involuntarily reach to the face, a person can cover his mouth, touch his lips, chin; while listening, the interlocutor covers his mouth due to mistrust;
• a pronounced gesture of lying - touching the nose;
• hiding the truth is manifested by scratching the upper eyelid;
• if a person does not agree with the opinion of his opponent, but is afraid to say it directly, he can scratch his neck;
• touching the earlobes indicates that the listener does not believe his interlocutor.

The most common and well-known sign of lying is looking away from the eyes, fear of direct eye contact. In fact, scientists have proven that this is a false judgment; averting the eyes is a natural phenomenon; during memories, a person will avert his eyes to the left or up, and during fantasies and inventions - up or to the right.

Aggressive gestures

You can visually assess the mood of your interlocutor by his gestures and facial expressions, so psychologists separately consider gestures of aggression and hostility. For example:

• clenching hands into fists;
• throwing your arms to the side speaks of determination and a mood for action;
• sitting on a chair in a “riding” position is an indicator of a negative attitude towards the opponent;
• folding your hands behind your back.

Hiding signs and gestures of aggression and expressed hostility towards a certain person is actually very difficult, since these are strong emotions, the control of which requires long and hard training.

Nervous gestures

If a person feels insecure and irritable in communication, it will be extremely difficult to hide such a state. Most likely, nervousness will be manifested by the following gestures:

• teenagers start biting their nails;
• an adult can chew on a pen or pencil, bang them on the table, or tap their fingers;
• a shifting gaze is a consequence of anxiety;
• Frequent changes in body position and fussiness indicate irritability and nervousness.

Do you have a habit of chewing on your pen?

YesNo

In this state, breathing quickens, the gaze cannot focus on one thing, and it will be quite difficult for a person to control his body.

Bored gestures

Some specific gestures will tell you how to understand body language in order to find out how interested your interlocutor is in the conversation. For example:

• during communication, the interlocutor puts his head in the palms of his hands;
• a boring conversation may be accompanied by tapping of feet on the floor;
• engaging in another activity, for example, drawing on a piece of paper, twirling a pen or other object in your hand, looking at your phone or watch, looking at your hands, and many others.

Thus, we can conclude that an uninteresting conversation will be accompanied by a lack of stable eye contact between opponents and extraneous actions.

Confidential gestures

It is extremely important for some people to recognize by gestures how much a particular person trusts them. Psychologists name several reliable gestures that indicate complete trust and emancipation of the interlocutor, namely:

• while listening to a speech, the interlocutor will periodically nod his head;
• manifestation of the “dome” gesture, that is, the elbows of the hands will be on the table, and the hands will be connected in the fingers, forming as if a dome (often this gesture shows the complacency and selfishness of a person);
• complete trust on the part of the interlocutor is his open palms.

Appreciative gestures

By some actions you can be sure that the interlocutor is not just observing the speaker, but also evaluating him. For example:

• while listening, a person rests his head on the palm of his hand, putting his index finger up;
• during a conversation, the listener takes off his glasses and touches his lips with the bow;
• Scratching the chin indicates that a person is thinking about the topic of conversation.

Also, while thinking through the topic of a conversation and assessing it, a person can pace from side to side, as if trying to make one decision for himself. Also, while assessing a conversation, he can pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers, closing his eyes.

Difference between male and female gestures

Many famous psychologists have studied the body language of men and women, making comparative characteristics. In the case of a woman, body language is a pronounced manifestation of emotion and passion, while men are by nature restrained and balanced, which means their gestures will be hidden and less recognizable. And only a very observant person will be able to read them.

A man, if he likes a girl, will demonstrate the following gestures:

• straightening clothes or hairstyle, as well as brushing off specks or dust, even if there is none;
• straightening the shoulders, retracting the abdomen, expressive and bright gaze;
• putting a finger in the belt of trousers, holding hands in pockets with the thumb facing out;
• a long and studying look at the woman.

In turn, a woman’s body language differs from the gestures of a guy in love in the following ways:

• shaking hair, straightening hairstyle;
• gait with swaying hips;
• short glances from under the eyelashes;
• touching your hips, waist;
• demonstration of the wrist area;
• stroking a pencil, the stem of a glass or other elongated object with your fingers;
• parted lips, languid, breathy voice;
• laying legs on legs.

Women are more open in non-verbal expressions of their sympathy, but due to embarrassment and self-doubt, sometimes gestures of sympathy can be somewhat different - fast speech with a trembling voice, loud and abrupt laughter or awkward movements.

For reference! Men's body language aims to demonstrate their strength and self-confidence, while women show weakness and insecurity with their body and gestures.

How to recognize the simplest gestures?

The defining indicators in the study of body language are the hands and their movements, body position or posture, as well as facial expressions. It has been proven that under the influence of certain feelings and emotions, relaxation of various facial structures and their coordinated contractions occur. You can also read a lot from the look and eyes; all that remains is to understand the simplest and most undisguised manifestations of emotions and feelings.

Poses

Body position is a clear indicator of what a person may be hiding from his opponent or not telling. For example:

• aggression - standing or sitting, arms akimbo or body forward, thumbs hidden in pockets or belt;
• self-confidence and self-righteousness - head held high, chin forward, sitting at the table, fingers connected only at the tips, but spread apart in the palms;
• desire to change the topic and negative attitude - standing with support on any object;
• fear and anxiety - fidgeting in a chair, frequent changes of body position.

The remaining body position gestures were described earlier in the classification according to a person’s mood. Psychologists note that a frequently repeated pose indicates that a person has stable personality traits.

Facial expressions

Well-known psychologists regularly publish books in which they consider the latest observations of scientists regarding non-verbal human gestures. Particular attention is paid to facial expressions, by which all existing emotions and feelings can be recognized, despite the context of the conversation, for example:

• interest- eyelids are widened or narrow, and eyebrows are raised or lowered;
• joy- curvature of the lips, pulling their corners back;
• happiness- calm eyes, looking back and raised corners of the lips;
• disgust- wrinkled nose, drooping eyebrows, protrusion of the lower lip, slanted eyes;
• fear- raised straight eyebrows, widened eyes, open mouth with tense corners and straight lips above the teeth;
• contempt- raised eyebrows and an elongated face shape, a top-down look;
• shame- lowered head, averted face, averted gaze, closed eyelids and darting gaze, rapid breathing;
• anger- frowning of the face, widening of the nostrils, compressed or drawn-out lips, redness of the face;
• sorrow- dull eyes and knitted eyebrows, drooping corners of the lips.

Facial expressions are a clear indicator of a person's emotions if he has not learned the skill of facial control. In modern society, there are even trainings and courses on how to manage your facial expressions so as not to reveal all your cards in important conversations and contacts with people.

Movements

Movements are gestures that are the result of experiences and mental anxieties. From them you can read what a person experiences inside himself at a given moment in time or his characteristic features. The most typical patterns of human behavior in terms of gestures are as follows:

• active gestures- this is an indicator of a person’s positive mood, interest and friendliness;
• excessive gesticulation- an indicator of self-doubt, nervousness and anxiety.

More detailed gestures and their designations have been described previously, for example, touching the hair during flirting, clenching fists due to anger, covering the mouth with one's hand during distrust or lying, showing open palms when treating an opponent openly, biting nails due to anxiety, collection of lint and dust on clothes as a sign of disapproval, tilting the head to one side due to interest, and much more.

Here is an example of gestures of a guy in love

To understand how to recognize facial expressions, gestures and other non-verbal signs in a person in practice, it is enough to look at a clear example. The body language of a man in love will help any woman accurately determine his true feelings and emotions in relation to her. There are several points to pay attention to:

• appearance- a man in love is neatly dressed, clean-shaven, smells pleasant;
• sight- a close and appraising look into a woman’s eyes and lips;
• hands- involuntary manipulations, for example, brushing away specks of dust or straightening your hair;
• voice- a timid, insinuating voice, without harshness or changes in intonation.

A man who likes a woman will demonstrate his strength and masculinity in every possible way. In addition, he will be interested in all areas of the life of his object of desire, and show care and responsibility.

Conclusion

Body language is a non-verbal method of communication that not all people have. It includes gestures, body movements, postures, facial expressions and even intonation in the voice. Many well-known psychologists have devoted books to this broad topic, for example Alan Pease and James Borg, describing common, as well as male and female characteristic nonverbal expressions.

Whoever owns the information owns the world. Our desire to know everything about the world around us and the people with whom we interact is the main difference from the animal world. However, our words are often at odds with our gestures. This is why the psychology of body language is unique. Even if we tell a lie, but try to hide it, a professional will quickly determine by our gestures and body movements what our true motives are. In addition, body language can tell almost everything about a person: his mood, habits, weaknesses and even social status. In order to understand who is in front of us in any conversation, let’s try to study the secret techniques of body language.

Nonverbal communication includes gestures, postures and facial expressions. With their help, about 50% of all information is transmitted. The remaining 50 percent is voice, intonation and appearance.

The most striking example, where almost all components of body language are manifested, are couples in love. The body language of lovers can be obvious or hidden, unconscious. However, both partners understand each other intuitively and without words. True, the guy’s body language is much more modest compared to the non-verbal techniques that the girl uses. As an example, consider the gestures and body movements of both sexes when courting or trying to attract attention.

1. Man. When he sees a woman: he smooths his hair, preens himself, straightens his shirt collar or tie, brushes a non-existent speck of dust off his shoulder. One of the aggressive forms of body language of men is the characteristic placing of fingers behind a belt. Thus, it emphasizes the genital area. You can also often see a man's hands on his hips. Thus, he demonstrates his physical strength and willingness to communicate with a woman. If a woman is really interested in a male representative, then his pupils will dilate, and his gaze will linger on the object of interest for several seconds longer than expected.
2. Woman. Women's body language is in many ways more sophisticated than that of the stronger sex. Purely feminine gestures and body movements include: sharply shaking the hair to throw it back, swaying the hips to demonstrate it, slightly open mouth and wet lips. When seeing a potential partner, a woman can show off her wrist (one of a woman’s strong erogenous zones). This teasing gesture with the wrist is especially pronounced in women who smoke. Another interesting detail of body language and body language are the legs. If a man almost always spreads his legs wide apart to demonstrate his genitals, a woman, on the contrary, almost always crosses her legs. However, if a woman is interested in a partner, her knee will be directed towards the object of interest. Don't forget about cylindrical objects. You can often see a woman stroking a glass or a cigarette with her finger. This is a hint to the partner about what might be on this person’s mind. Also, do not forget about the sidelong glance and the languid, insinuating voice.

Hand body language

Another important role in the transmission of information is played by the body language of the hand. It is especially important for businessmen and people in leadership positions. For example:

Body language contains a huge number of hidden and obvious non-verbal signals. It is important to remember that if a person is open to communication, then all his gestures towards you will be the same. Those. open palms, open gaze and no crossing of legs. When communicating with loved ones, do not use gestures of superiority - do not put your hands behind your head or lift your chin high. It’s better to lean towards the interlocutor, point your feet towards him, tilt your head to the side, and smile. In this case, you will not only be considered a pleasant interlocutor in all respects, but will also support your point of view.

Body Language was first published in English in 1981. “Read any person like a book”, choose the right line of behavior, feel confident and at ease in any environment, make the best decisions - all this is available to everyone. The book will help you become aware of your own nonverbal signals and teach you how to use them for effective communication. Don't let yourself be manipulated!

Allan Pease. Body language. – Nizhny Novgorod: IQ Publishing House, 1992. – 272 p.

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Chapter I. General understanding of body language

Like other animals, we are subject to biological laws that control our actions, reactions, body language and gestures. It is surprising that the human animal is rarely aware that his posture, gestures and movements may contradict what his voice communicates. When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he (or she) has the ability to read another person's nonverbal cues and compare those cues with verbal cues.

Some gestures are innate, others are acquired, and the meaning of many movements and gestures is culturally determined. All over the world, basic communication gestures are the same. When people are happy they smile, when they are sad they frown, when they are angry they have an angry look. However, in general, the nonverbal language of one nation is different from the nonverbal language of another nation.

One of the most serious mistakes that beginners in the study of body language can make is the desire to isolate one gesture and consider it in isolation from other gestures and circumstances. For example, scratching the back of the head can mean a thousand things—dandruff, fleas, sweating, uncertainty, forgetfulness, or telling a lie—depending on what other gestures accompany it, so for correct interpretation we must take into account the entire range of accompanying gestures.

Research shows that nonverbal signals carry 5 times more information than verbal ones, and when the signals are incongruent, people rely on nonverbal information in preference to verbal information.

A person at the top of the social ladder or professional career can use the richness of his vocabulary in the process of communication, while a less educated or less professional person will often rely on gestures rather than words in the process of communication.

When an adult lies, his brain sends him an impulse to cover his mouth in an attempt to delay the words of deception, but at the last moment the hand moves away from the mouth and another gesture is born - touching the nose (Fig. 1).

Rice. 1. Gesture of a deceiving adult

The most typical question is “Is it possible to fake one’s own body language?” The usual answer to this question is no, because the lack of congruence between gestures, body microsignals and spoken words will give you away. For example, open palms are associated with honesty, but when a deceiver opens his arms and smiles at you while telling a lie, his body's microsignals will reveal his secret thoughts. This could be constricted pupils, a raised eyebrow, or a crooked corner of the mouth.

Chapter II. Zones and territories

The dimensions of a person’s personal spatial zone are socially and nationally determined. While one nation, such as the Japanese, is accustomed to overcrowding, others prefer wide open spaces and like to keep their distance. A person’s personal spatial territory can be divided into 4 zones (Fig. 2). If you want people to feel comfortable in your company, follow the golden rule: “Keep your distance.”

Rice. 2. Human spatial zones

Crowding of people at concerts, in cinema halls, on escalators, in transport, in elevators leads to the inevitable invasion of people into each other's intimate areas. There are a number of unwritten rules for Western behavior in crowded conditions:

• Don't talk to anyone, not even your friends.
• Don't stare at others.
• The person must be completely impartial.
• If you have a book or newspaper in your hands, you should be completely immersed in reading.
• The more crowded the transport, the more restrained your movements should be.

With this in mind, it is easy to understand why areas with higher population densities have higher crime rates.

Advancement into a person's intimate territory by a person of the opposite sex is a way of expressing his interest in this person and is called flirting. However, the Japanese and many European nations have a private area of ​​only 23-25 ​​cm. Ignorance of the culturally determined differences in the intimate areas of different people can easily lead to misunderstandings and incorrect judgments about the behavior and culture of others.

Chapter III. Palms

From time immemorial, an open palm has been associated with sincerity, honesty, devotion and trust. When a person begins to open up, he usually opens his palms completely or partially to the interlocutor. When a child is lying or hiding something, he hides his palms behind his back. There are three basic command palm gestures: palm up, palm down, and pointing (Figure 3), and their corresponding three types of handshake (Figure 4).

Rice. 3. Palm position: (a) confidential, (b) dominant, (c) aggressive

Rice. 4. Handshakes (for a shirt with a dark cuff): (a) master of the situation, (b) yielding the initiative, (c) equal handshake

Chapter IV. Gestures of arms and hands

By rubbing their palms together, people nonverbally convey their positive expectations. The person throwing the die rubs it between their palms as a signal that they expect to win. Interlocked fingers indicate disappointment and a person’s desire to hide his negative attitude (Fig. 5).

Rice. 5. Interlocking fingers denotes disappointment.

Placing your hands behind your back is considered a gesture of a confident person with a sense of superiority over others. Sticking out your thumbs indicates a person’s power, superiority, and even aggressiveness (Fig. 6).

Rice. 6. Thumbs out indicate authority.

Chapter V The meaning of gestures associated with touching various parts of the face

What gestures can give a person away if he is lying? These are gestures associated with touching the face with hands (Fig. 7). To disguise the “protecting your mouth with your hand” gesture, some people try to fake cough. Touching the nose is a subtle, disguised version of the previous gesture. Men also rub their eyelids, and if the lie is very serious, they turn their gaze to the side, usually to the floor. Women perform this movement very delicately by running their finger under the eye. Scratching and rubbing the ear indicates the listener's desire to isolate himself from the words.

Rice. 7. Covering your mouth with your hand may indicate that the speaker is lying.

Chapter VI. Hands as barriers

By placing one or both hands on our chest, we form a barrier. This is a clear signal that the person feels unsafe or threatened. When a listener crosses his arms over his chest, he not only develops a negative attitude towards the speaker, but he also pays less attention to what he hears. If you use the full gesture of crossing your arms, it becomes obvious to others that you are experiencing a feeling of fear. Sometimes we replace it with a partial, incomplete cross, in which one hand is placed across the body, taking the other hand at the elbow.

Another common option for an incomplete barrier is a gesture in which a person holds his own hands (Fig. 8). This gesture is usually used by people standing in front of a large audience when receiving an award or when giving a speech. This gesture allows a person to restore the sense of emotional security that he experienced as a child, when his parents held his hand in dangerous circumstances.

Rice. 8. Disguised protective gesture

Chapter VII. Protective barrier formed using legs

Like protective barriers formed with the arms, crossing the legs is a sign of a person's negative or defensive attitude. Crossing the arms over the chest was originally associated with the function of protecting the heart and chest area, while crossing the legs is an attempt to protect the genital area.

When crossing your legs is also accompanied by crossing your arms over your chest (Fig. 9), this means that the person has “disconnected” from the conversation. It would be foolish for a salesman to even attempt to ask a customer in this position about his decision, and should ask a few follow-up questions to ascertain his objections. This position is very popular among women all over the world, especially if they want to express their dissatisfaction with their husband or boyfriend.

Rice. 9. A woman expresses her dissatisfaction

As soon as people begin to feel comfortable and close to others, they obey the unwritten law according to which the defensive posture changes to an open, relaxed one.

Chapter VIII. Other famous gestures and movements

Most people who sit on chairs are dominant types who try to control and dominate people if they get bored with the topic of conversation, and the back of the chair serves as a good defense against any attack from others (Fig. 10). The easiest way to disarm the “rider” is to stand or sit behind him, which will make him feel the vulnerability of the rear in the event of an attack and change his position, becoming less aggressive.

Rice. 10. Aggressive pose

If someone who likes to sit on a chair comes to you, and his aggressive manner annoys you, try to move him to a stable chair with armrests that will prevent him from taking his favorite position.

When a person does not agree with the opinion or attitude of other people, but does not dare to express his point of view, he makes gestures that are called repression gestures, i.e. they appear as a result of restraining one’s opinion. Collecting and plucking non-existent lint from clothing is one such gesture.

There are three main head positions. A straight head position is characteristic of a person who is neutral about what he hears. When the head tilts to the side, this indicates that the person has become interested (Fig. 11). Charles Darwin was one of the first to notice that people, like animals, tilt their heads to the side when they become interested in something. Women use this head position to show their interest in an attractive man. If the head is tilted down, this indicates that the person's attitude is negative, even judgmental.

Rice. 11. Interested head position

Putting your hands behind your head is typical for people with a sense of superiority over others. This gesture is also common among know-it-alls, and many people become annoyed when someone demonstrates this gesture in front of them (Figure 12).

Rice. 12. “Maybe someday you will be as successful as me.”

Chapter IX. Eye signals

In Expressive Eyes, Hess says that the eyes transmit the most precise and open signals of all human communication signals because the pupils behave completely independently. When a person is excited, his pupils dilate four times their normal size. On the contrary, an angry, gloomy mood causes the pupils to contract, resulting in so-called “beady eyes” or “snake” eyes.

When conducting business negotiations, imagine that there is a triangle on the forehead of your interlocutor (Fig. 13a). By directing your gaze to this triangle, you create a serious atmosphere, and the other person feels that you are in a businesslike mood. Provided that your gaze does not fall below the other person's eyes, you will be able to control the progress of negotiations with your gaze. An intimate gaze passes through the eye line and goes down below the chin to other parts of the interlocutor’s body (Fig. 13b). With close communication, this triangle descends from the eyes to the chest, and with distant communication, from the eyes to the perineum. Men and women use this look to show their interest in a person, and if he is also interested, he will respond with the same look.

Rice. 13. Where to direct your gaze: (a) business, (b) intimate

Chapter XI. Cigarettes, cigars, pipes and glasses

A positive, confident, and self-satisfied person will blow smoke upward almost constantly; conversely, a negative person, with secretive or suspicious thoughts, will almost always direct the flow downward. If, when dealing cards, the smoking player received good cards, he will probably release the stream upward, and if bad cards came, he will release it downward.

Looking over your glasses indicates a critical, judgmental attitude towards a person.

Chapter XII. Gestures of possessive and territorial claims

People lean against objects or each other in order to assert their territorial claims on that object or person. For example, if you want to photograph your friend in front of his new car, boat, house or some other property, you will definitely see how he will lean on his newly acquired property, put his foot on it or put his hand on it (Fig. 14 ). When he touches his property, it becomes an extension of his body, and in this way he shows others that it belongs to him. Lovers constantly hold hands or hug in public.

Rice. 14. Gesture expressing pride in one's property

Chapter XIII. Mirroring

When you attend any official reception, evening or party, notice that some people communicating with each other sit or stand in the same position and repeat each other's gestures. This “mirroring” is the means by which one person communicates to another that he agrees with his opinions and views (for more on mirror neurons in the brain, see).

Chapter XIV. Bowing, slouching, their dependence on social status

Since ancient times, the desire to reduce one's height in front of others has been used as a means of establishing relationships of subordination. We address members of the Royal House as "Your Highness," and those who commit indecent acts are called "low."

By deliberately shrinking your figure, you can consciously avoid dissatisfaction from others. Let's say you were speeding and the police stopped you. Since the police officer’s official position is significantly higher than yours, try to act this way:

• Immediately get out of your car (your territory) and approach the police officer's car (his territory). In this case, he does not have to leave his territory.
• Try to bend down enough to look shorter than him.
• To bring yourself down, tell him how stupid and irresponsible you were, and to build him up, thank him for pointing out your mistake. Tell him you appreciate his hard work, especially when he has to deal with fools like you.
• Extend both hands to him, palms up, and ask him in a pleading voice not to issue a fine.

Chapter XV. Influencing others using different body positions

The rotation of the body and the direction of the toe indicate the direction of a person’s thoughts. From them you can determine where he would like to go. In Fig. 15 shows two people talking while walking through a door: the person on the left is trying to hold the attention of the interlocutor, but he wants to continue his movement in the direction where his body is pointing, although his head is turned and indicates his interest. But only when the person on the right turns his body to the other, can a conversation between mutually interested people take place.

Rice. 15. By the turn of the body it is clear what a person wants to do and where he wants to go

The angle at which people stand in relation to each other also provides information about their relationships. For example, people in most English-speaking countries stand at a 90-degree angle during conversations (Figure 16). This position is a non-verbal invitation for the third person to join them by standing in the place of that third point.

Rice. 16. Open triangle position

When it is necessary to establish relations of property or intimacy, the angle between the bodies is reduced to zero degrees (Fig. 17).

Rice. 17. Closed position. The body is turned towards the person you are interested in

Feet most often indicate the direction a person would like to go, but they also indicate a person who is attractive and interesting to you.

Chapter XVI. Different types of tables and ways to place participants at the table

The strategic placement of “forces” and the correct distribution of participants at the table is a means of their effective interaction. Different shades of people's attitudes towards you can be expressed through what place they occupy at the table relative to you. For example, face B can occupy four main positions relative to face A (Fig. 18).

• B1: Corner position; typical for people engaged in friendly, casual conversation; This will also be the best strategic location for the sales agent to present the product to a new client.
• B2: Business interaction position; used when two people collaborate on a problem or project.
• VZ: Competitive-defensive position. People occupy this position at the table when they are in a competitive relationship, or when one of them reprimands the other for some offense. If B wants to influence A, then standing against each other reduces his chances of negotiation success.
• Q4: Independent position. This position is occupied by people who do not want to interact with each other at the table. This usually happens in a library, in a park on a bench, or in a restaurant at a table.

Rice. 18. Basic types of arrangement of people around the table

King Arthur used the round table to give all knights an equal amount of power and equal position. A round table creates an atmosphere of informality and ease, and is the best way to conduct a conversation between people of the same social status.

Chapter XVII. Various ways to artificially increase status

The higher the back of the chair, the more power and authority the person sitting on it has. Kings, queens, popes and other privileged persons make the back of the chair up to 2.5 meters high to emphasize their status relative to their subjects.

Hess, E. The Tell-Tale Eye, New York, 1975. Apparently not translated into Russian. – Note Baguzin.