Do you know that 99 of the 100 richest Russians according to Forbes magazine have children?? I'll tell you more about this below.
Are you satisfied with your work, family relationships, health, internal state?? Various problems happen in every person's life, but many difficulties can be avoided if you act in accordance with the right values in life.
Now I will talk about 8 life values and how their satisfaction affects the level of happiness.
8 Life Values
1. Spiritual development. This is your moral state and actions, understanding of life values.
2. Family, loved ones. Your relationship with your significant other, relatives, friends.
3. Health, sports. Your well-being. Regularity in general examinations can also be attributed to this section, since many diseases can be asymptomatic until the very last stage.
4. Financial situation. Satisfaction with financial situation.
5. Career. Career and finances are separated because for many, self-realization in a career is more important than income; for others, it’s the other way around.
6. Rest, emotions.
7. Self-development.
8. Environment. People you interact with frequently, at work and in other social settings.
If you want, you can add your other life values.
Priorities in life values
Maximum efficiency and level of experienced happiness is achieved under 2 conditions:
Your life values are correct;
You are as close as possible to equal satisfaction of all life values.
Now let’s analyze these 2 conditions a little and start with the first: Correct life values. Each life value has its own priority.
The main value in life is spiritual development, i.e. your moral state. The importance is that negative actions have a bad impact on all areas of life: health, leisure, finances, etc. The reason is that bad actions create a conflict with yourself, or rather, with your conscience. Remember how you felt after the fight. Irritability, headache, stress, etc. are the result of any negative emotions.
All bad deeds conflict with your conscience, resulting in the production of stress hormones, which lower your immunity, worsen your mood, etc. If, from a moral point of view, you do good deeds, then happiness hormones are produced, which strengthen the body’s strength and improve your mood, which, in turn, affects all other areas of life.
Let's designate the main life value from above.
The second most important value is family. Problems in the family, as well as in the value of “spiritual development,” greatly influence all areas of life, the principle is approximately the same.
3rd most important value: health, which also affects everything else. Priorities for other values may vary depending on your personality type.
Supporting facts from forbes about success
Many may have doubts about the above priorities, so I will present the facts. Everyone knows Forbes magazine, which annually publishes lists of the richest people in the world. In one of the magazines I found the following interesting fact: In the list of the 100 richest Russians according to Forbes, I counted only 9 divorced men, 1 unmarried, the rest are all married. But the most interesting thing is that 99 out of 100 have children, even divorced ones, adopted or their own. At the same time, the average data for all married men in Russia is much lower, you understand this yourself.
It turns out that the most successful men are married and have children. This is a statistical fact.
How do you like this arrangement? It seems that it should be the other way around, according to the logic of modern man, the more you work to achieve success, the less time you have for everything else. Why is it so difficult for single men and women to succeed? Why do they have to work harder and achieve less?
So, according to statistics, in marriage you are more likely to realize your desires. But let’s try to understand why this happens, because family and children require time, care, and effort!
We are designed in such a way that When doing good deeds, joy hormones (dopamine, serotonin, etc.) are released into the blood.. Remember how you felt when you provided invaluable help to another person. You can look at the faces of people who work in charitable foundations, even from photographs it immediately becomes clear that they feel much happier than others.
Caring for others, in particular, for family and children, greatly reduces susceptibility to stress, because our brain cannot think about several situations at once, it works sequentially. What does this mean? And when we want to help someone, positive thoughts of help prevent negative emotions from developing. If there are no thoughts about how to help your neighbor, then the emptiness will be filled by worries and negative emotions.
This is why after a divorce, so often people start drinking and fall into other harmful illnesses, they simply become more susceptible to negativity. And family people, on the contrary, are less proud, offended, and sick; this happens because when a person takes care of someone, his moral state improves.
That's why family can help not only get the release of happy hormones: endorphins, but also reduce the production of stress hormones by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.
Success and morale
The foundation of success is your morale. Everyone understands that people avoid cooperation with proud, arrogant, evil people and, on the contrary, are drawn to interact with calm, polite, kind people. Therefore, the most important value is spiritual development, which improves your morale and reduces negative behaviors. As a result, there is less conflict with conscience and fewer negative thoughts that negatively affect through the release of stress hormones.
I’ll share my experience: I go to Orthodox churches, regularly confess and receive communion. This helps improve morale, remove negative thoughts and feel happier.
The family gives a person the opportunity for faster spiritual development, because caring for one’s neighbor makes a person better, his moral state improves, and his actions become correct. Therefore, family and relationships with loved ones are the 2nd most important value in life.
Priorities allow you to make a more accurate analysis and help you better understand what needs to be done to make your life change for the better. For example, satisfaction with your financial situation should not be higher than satisfaction with your spiritual development. Or career satisfaction should not be higher than satisfaction with family relationships. That is, on the wheel of life you need not only to tighten up your sagging needs, but also to make sure that lower-priority life values do not grow higher than higher-priority ones.
Often people work where they don't like. And every day an unloved job brings more and more disappointments and a spoiled mood. Often the reason is neither a bad job nor even a bad employee, but the fact that they are not a good fit for each other. If you approach your choice of work and lifestyle in accordance with your life values, then you will be more successful in any field.
How to evaluate life values
The criterion for success in life is the level of happiness experienced. Perhaps everyone wants to be happy. The more you satisfy your values in life, the happier you will feel.. But in order to understand where to start, you need to know at what stage of satisfaction your current life values are.
Now is the time to evaluate your values in life. To start, take a piece of paper and draw a circle, then divide it into 8 parts by drawing 4 lines through the center. Place a zero in the center of the circle - this is your starting point. Divide each of the 8 axes into 10 parts, graduated with marks. There will be a zero in the center of the circle, and 10 at the edges where the lines intersect with the circle.
Label each intersection of the line with the circle described above with the 8 life values.
Ask yourself: Are you satisfied with the work you have done to improve your health, relationships with your family, etc. For each item, rate your level of satisfaction on a 10-point scale and mark on each axis.
It is important to add that the question should not be asked related to satisfaction in general, but to how you worked on each area. It is not the final goal that is important, but your desire and movement towards it.
I'll explain why: Life constantly limits us in some way and there are situations when it is impossible to achieve what we want, but we can achieve satisfaction from the work we put in. For example, a person does not have a leg, of course, everyone would like to have full-fledged limbs, but for now this is impossible, so if such a person always points to the health axis as a low result, this will demotivate him, because he wants to, but cannot .
And if you put your movement towards the goal on the wheel of life, for example, a person without a leg trains every day to feel as natural as possible on an artificial leg and indicates high numbers on the health axis, then this will motivate him to further training. Therefore, 10 points on each axis is the value of the maximum result that you, and not someone else, can achieve in a given life situation.
As a result, you should get a figure similar to a circle. If this did not work out, then look at all the sagging areas of life. First of all, it is necessary to satisfy the most lagging values in life, because... it is always easier to saturate the base level than the higher one, i.e. to get a uniform circle. In addition, balance in life is extremely important for a person. Only a balanced life will bring happiness.
Now you know how much your life values coincide with the real state of affairs and what needs to be changed first.
You need to determine your life values regularly; draw the circle of life at least once a month, preferably once a week.
The figure you need to strive for is a circle. When you determine your life values and the degree of their implementation, it will be much easier to prioritize your activities, your life will become more balanced, and you will feel happier.
P.S. If you have difficulties or questions about the article you read, as well as about the topics: Psychology (bad habits, experiences, etc.), sales, business, time management, etc. ask them to me, I will try to help. Consultation via Skype is also possible.
P.P.S. You can also take the online training “How to get 1 hour of extra time.” Write comments and your additions;)
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Can you name your top 5 values? Without speculating, choosing what is really important to you, and not what society considers so. Most likely, a few minutes will not be enough for this. At the same time, by realizing and accepting your values, you can radically change your life.
Why do we need to know our values?
We can accept it or not, but everyone has values. And life will become much easier if we are aware of them and are guided when we make plans or make decisions.
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Values define our priorities and help us understand when life takes a wrong turn. If actions and behavior are consistent with values, we are satisfied and happy. When things aren't right, it's likely that something is going against the things that are important to us.
Will a person who prefers cooperation and support, but works in a highly competitive environment, be happy? If my values are slow living, simplicity and minimalism, and my Instagram pictures show parties, brands and a complex face, will I be satisfied? If your values are family and relationships, and you work 12 hours a day, seven days a week, how long will you last?
You need to know your priorities in order to choose the right education, job, partner, hobby, direction in life. To avoid focusing on the values that are imposed by society, stereotypes and social networks. So that in 10 years, having become professionals or having accumulated wagons of property, we will not realize that all this time we have been living someone else’s life.
How to Define Your Values
Core values change throughout life. At the beginning of a career, they will be determined by money and status, but over time, family and work-life balance may take precedence. Therefore, values must be constantly reviewed, especially in difficult moments, when it is necessary to find a way out of the crisis.
To determine your values, try to thoughtfully answer the following questions:
- At what moments was I absolutely happy?
- When have I been filled with pride?
- What were the 2-3 most important achievements in my life?
- When did I feel unhappy? Because of which? What was I missing?
- When was I completely satisfied with the state of affairs?
- Were there other people near me at these moments? Who was that? What they were doing?
In the answers you will find what is important to you and what is missing. Make a complete list of values. Take your time, this may take from several days to several weeks.
Highlight fundamental, core and additional values. Perhaps you, like me, want to identify your imaginary values - those that only seem important, but in reality are holding us back.
Fundamental Values
If we consider the categories of values as a house, then the fundamental ones are the foundation, what everything rests on. A poor foundation means the house may collapse. If something goes wrong, you can return to these values to find out the reason and fix everything.
To determine your fundamental values, take your list, look at the first two items and ask yourself: If you had to choose one of the two, which would it be? Work through all the points until the 3-5 most important things in your life remain. I got it like this:
- Relationship
- Health
- Creation
- Self-development
Core values
The main values are the walls, roof, windows. Without them, a house will not be a home. These are our principles. Ideally, we should understand what these things mean to us, because people perceive the same concepts differently.
- SELF CARE. All planes have clear instructions: put on the oxygen mask yourself before helping anyone else. When there is not enough energy, but we continue to share it with others, we are using up a resource that is not there and borrowing from ourselves from the future. To share energy, there must be enough of it. To do this, you need to take care of yourself and replenish your supply.
- FREEDOM. It is often hard to believe, but the world will not collapse if you remove yourself from social networks and do not worry about statistics and marketing, say no, refuse toxic relationships, protect psychological boundaries, express feelings that may not be acceptable to others, break other people's patterns, don’t do it just because it’s customary, don’t achieve career heights, don’t follow traditions, don’t build an empire, don’t be effective, productive and motivated, don’t depend and don’t make anyone dependent on you, make mistakes, choose.
- COMMUNICATION. Communicate on a feeling level. Listen to hear, not to respond. Be based on respect for other points of view and go beyond your own beliefs. Eliminate any communication based on projections, passive aggression and manipulation.
- STABILITY. To conquer the world every day, you need to understand that there are indestructible things. I don't adapt well and don't like change, but I often create conditions in which I have to change something or change in order not to get stuck. At the same time, it is important for me to understand that there are immutable things that will always be there. A comfort zone is something that needs to be created before leaving it.
- GRATITUDE. Happiness is not in constantly wanting more, happiness is in learning to notice and appreciate what you already have.
- PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. I have nothing to hide, but there is no need to show everything. People have the right to their opinion, I have the right not to know it.
- QUALITY. By working on the quality of each individual area, thing or value, improve the quality of life.
- PRIVACY. A quiet evening at home instead of a noisy party, a walk in nature instead of discovering another fashionable place, a favorite hobby instead of a video, a book instead of Instagram, small towns instead of big cities, eco-friendly local brands instead of a mass market, the sound of rain instead of music, wild flowers instead of a million scarlet roses.
- HAPPINESS. This is not something huge that constantly flashes somewhere far away, but something small that is already here. It's not about a degree or a well-paid job, or how to be like others. It's about hope, discovery, about listening to your heart, no matter what it chooses, about being kinder to yourself. This means understanding that happiness is not about others, happiness is always about me.
- MEANING. If life is a road, then the meaning of life is one of the turns, and happiness is one of the ways of transportation.
- AWARENESS. The ability to monitor your emotions and thoughts from moment to moment is the key to understanding yourself, to living at peace with yourself, to thoughtfully managing your thoughts, emotions and behavior. This is constantly focusing on your feelings, comparing your behavior with internal standards and values.
- LIVING IN THE MOMENT. Happiness comes when you stop waiting and take the best from the present moment.
Additional Values
If the fundamental values are the foundation of the house, and the main values are the walls and roof, then additional values are furniture and decor. You can live without them, but with them it is much more convenient and interesting. These are tools, entertainment, hobbies, style, knowledge.
Is his story about himself. Listen to people's stories often, ask questions, and you can clearly identify their system within 10 minutes. Pay attention to those moments in the biography of each person where he does - he wanted to marry one, but married another; wanted to go to college, but joined the army; could have made a brilliant career in one place, but went to work in another, where they paid less.
Analyze the interlocutor's story. As a rule, each of us has one of these four types. If your counterpart is an idealist, then, most often, his choice was determined by ideological considerations, such as the search for the meaning of life, ways of perfection, etc. If he is a materialist, then his life is devoted to accumulation, and all his choice was determined by this task. An emotional person always makes a choice based on his own emotions: under the influence of some feelings he got married, under the influence of others he got divorced or changed jobs. If the choice was determined by the desire to preserve health, family, and the need to raise good children, then this is a vitalist.
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Helpful advice
Typical representatives of one of these categories can rarely be found; usually, one system of values prevails in our country, and all the others are in varying degrees of suppression.
Related article
It often happens that people with different life values cannot understand and accept each other. One person sees the world from one perspective, another from another. But is there a single point, a single value, or even a whole system of values, before which any person is ready to bow his head?
Society and man
Human values are, first of all, what society and each individual strives for, because the highest ideals, which are embedded in the subconscious, are vital. Otherwise, humanity will become obsolete.It also happens that wrong human values are promoted in society. The most striking example is Nazi Germany. As a result, two conclusions can be drawn. Firstly, human values are laid down by society itself and those who govern it. Secondly, wrong values lead to global destruction.
Human values can be divided into different categories. Many philosophers have tried to do this. For example, Alfred Adler emphasized physical, emotional and intellectual values. And psychologist Gordon Allport identified as many as six categories. The simplest division is the categories of material and spiritual.
In any case, you need to understand that all human values apply to each person separately, and he can perceive them as he pleases, depending on his moral principles.
Spiritual wings
“Belief in higher values and ideals gives a person spiritual wings,” said D.S. Likhachev. A person with high morals will try to pursue high goals. But often there is a dissonance between personal values and the values of society.It is believed to have super-consumer potential. That money replaces love and kindness, and the new generation and time are to blame for everything. But the struggle between the value of material goods and spiritual values has been going on for a very long time, and will continue for many more years.
But there is no denying that a consumer society really exists. This happens due to the fact that a person who does not know how to defend his moral principles experiences a substitution of values. Moral values change into benefits and needs.
But it cannot be argued that a person who strives to financially provide for himself and his family is of low morality. Indeed, it is difficult to live without money - these are necessary benefits. The difference is that there should be exactly as many of them as are enough, no more. A person should not put materiality above a worthy, highly moral life.
The only way to protect yourself from the process of substitution of values is high-quality literature. Books that are recognized as classics contain questions about real values.
Letters from Likhachev
D. S. Likhachev in his work “Letters about the Good and the Beautiful” tries to reveal from some sides the concept of human values. He considers life to be the most important value: that of others, his own, that of animals and plants. He says that life has no boundaries, and one must learn to feel and see the intangible.Time and art, which teaches kindness, are also the most important values according to Likhachev.
For an individual nation, the value is its culture and language, and for all humanity, beauty and love.
It is very difficult to talk about human values, since everyone has their own values. As a result of this, it is also very difficult to summarize and compile a list of universal human values. Some philosophers say that universal human values do not exist at all. But, one way or another, they exist inside every person living on the planet.
Values in human life play a huge role.
They determine his thinking and guide his actions.
Each person has his own hierarchy of core values.
How to survive a family crisis? Find out about this from ours.
Definition of the concept and signs
What it is?
Life values- these are the views and beliefs that a person adheres to when committing his actions.
Based on his own life values, a person makes a decision about what is acceptable to him and what is not.
Despite the fact that people themselves determine life guidelines for themselves, in the process of constant existence in society, they gradually begin to automatically obey their own attitudes and act in accordance with them.
This is explained by the fact that the existing norms and rules that a person adheres to are inherent in himself.
If he betrays his own views and beliefs, this will invariably lead to, and demotion.
List of main features:
A life position that affirms the value of a person as an individual is called humanism.
Role
Components of personality
Values are an integral part of personality person.
If a person tends to love his family, strive for career success, and engage in spiritual development, then other people can use knowledge about his values when characterizing his personality.
Love for family characterizes a person as responsible, loving and caring. Career success They talk about discipline and determination. The desire for spiritual development indicates high morality and intelligence.
Prerequisites for behavior
At the same time, values are motivation of human behavior.
If a person’s own health occupies a priority place among life values, then all his behavior will be aimed at observing this value - maintaining a healthy lifestyle, constant monitoring of your health, avoiding situations dangerous to the body, etc.
If for a person kindness, decency and sincerity are integral elements of spiritual values, then meanness, betrayal, and lies cannot be expected from him.
The exception is cases when a person departs from his life goals under the influence of external factors: thirst for profit, avoidance of responsibility, etc.
In this case, it is possible to commit actions contrary to existing principles.
Often the result obtained does not bring the expected satisfaction to a person due to the contradiction that has arisen between internal principles and committed actions.
How are they formed?
A value system begins to take shape in childhood during the process of education and life. Change your own views and beliefs, being a mature, formed personality, almost impossible. The main factors influencing the formation of internal attitudes:
Examples
What are a person's values? Pyramid of human values:
Examples of life values:
- Relationships with a loved one. Having a permanent relationship with a like-minded person plays a big role for a person. Such people have a predominant need for affection, care, tenderness, and mutual understanding. Having found a suitable partner, they strive to maintain the relationship with him and get married.
In marriage, such people turn out to be faithful and caring spouses, for whom personal life always comes first.
- Money. Material gain, financial well-being and prosperity are the main goals in the life of a person for whom money is the highest value. His actions are primarily aimed at generating income and achieving material wealth.
- Power. People who value power above all else strive throughout their lives to improve their social status. They want to occupy a certain position in society that allows them to influence others.
Classification in the table
The variety of values can be classified by combining them into the main parts that make up a person’s life:
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Basic, true values |
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Personal |
Intelligence, education, upbringing, decency, self-control, working on oneself, health. |
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Relationships, family |
Trust and mutual understanding with a partner, raising children, comfort at home, relationships with relatives. |
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Communication, mutual assistance. |
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Material values |
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Success, professionalism, prospects, respect in a professional environment, income. |
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Position in society |
Social status, influence, power, money, popularity. |
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Spiritual values |
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Spiritual development |
Education, self-education, self-knowledge. |
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Secondary values |
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Entertainment |
Fun pastime, travel, new experiences, gambling. |
When does a woman have a midlife crisis? find out right now.
Value system for men and women
Historically, the main value of men is implementation in society, and the main value of women is implementation in the family as a mother, wife.
Creating a comfortable environment at home by the wife guarantees the husband success in his endeavors thanks to the support and understanding that is provided to the man at home.
Nowadays, women often choose fulfillment in society as an important life value. Creating a family and having children remain no less important tasks.
The general value system of men and women primarily includes the following factors: health, material well-being, family well-being (having a spouse and children), personal development, career success.
The value of human relationships
Human relationships are of great value, since any individual is social creature. Not a single person can live in society without communicating with other people, without entering into social relationships - friendships, love, partnerships.
Of particular value to humans are friendships and love relationships, because in them you can find support, understanding, support.
In relationships that inspire trust in a person, he can reveal himself and develop.
Having like-minded people nearby gives, endows with positive emotions.
Hierarchy of values
Each person's hierarchy of values has its own characteristics. Each life value in such a hierarchy takes its place depending on the degree of its significance for the individual.
If we summarize the results of numerous studies, we can determine the following common hierarchical sequence of life values:
- family;
- children;
- health;
- career;
- money;
- self-realization;
- Friends;
- entertainment;
- public acceptance.
Thus, basic personal and family values are at the top of the hierarchy, and material and other values are at the very bottom.
Rethinking
There are certain signs by which a person understands that his value system needs rethinking:
Thus, life values not only determine our behavior, but also guide our lives. A clear understanding of your own life values is the key to satisfaction with your life and a full, successful existence in society.
As you probably know, values perform two functions in a person’s life.
The first function of values is that they make part of the world visible. What is of at least some value to a person will be, as it were, illuminated by a value flashlight. And a person will see in the world around him what is connected with his value system. This is truly a magical function. Judge for yourself. If something does not resonate in a person’s value system, then there is no chance that person will notice it. Let’s say business opportunities are not important to a person, he doesn’t think about starting his own business. In this case, it is not surprising that he will literally and figuratively stumble over these same business opportunities and will not notice any of them. And vice versa. For some, the environment is important. Very important. So it’s not surprising that this person will notice everything related to the environment everywhere. In particular, environmental problems. Another example. Your son, as usual Vovochka, does not notice his elders at all and does not greet them. Here's your driver. Let Vovochka too. Doesn't notice those on secondary roads at all. Here's your wife. Notices all the new clothes of all her friends. Here you are. Didn't notice that my wife has a new hairstyle. Problem. The problem is with your value system. It's her fault. More precisely, not the entire value system, but its first function, which determines what a person will see and what not.
The second function of values is responsible for the roads we choose. Remember the Russian fairy tale about the knight, the stone and the need to choose. If you go to the right, you will lose your horse. If you go to the left, you will lose your head. Where to go? Imagine that we were able to figure out the knight’s value system and know for sure that he wants to become famous as a fearless fighter. Which road will he choose? Obvious, right? You see how easy it is to predict a person’s choices when you know his value system. No problem. We know that the lives of each of us will sooner or later face the following elections:
a) wealth or freedom
b) family or career
c) well-mannered children or spoiled ones
d) professional subordinate or loyal
e) interesting job or highly paid
An amazing number of choices. Every day we make elections. Most of it is done out of habit. When making new, unusual choices or choices in new circumstances, we may think about which alternative is more consistent with our values.
Be that as it may, whether we choose out of habit, whether we choose thoughtlessly, or whether we choose consciously, our values guide us through life.
The second function of values is choosing a path from available alternatives.
As you now know, values make part of the world visible, while the rest of the world is hidden from us. And values determine our choices on the roads of fate. Aren't these reasons enough? so that a person wants to know his value system?
But how do you find out your value system?
We've found a simple and elegant way to figure out your value system. Try the following experiment.
For a few days, I think three to four days will be enough, so for a few days write down the questions that you ask yourself. When you understand what groups of questions there are, then group them. For example, someone will have a group of questions about studying. Someone will have questions about money, about work, about relationships.
How often do you return to this or that question?
How many questions on one topic?
And finally, a few questions that may help you:
The question you ask yourself on the morning of your work day?
- What question do you ask yourself on your day off?
- The question you ask your manager?
- Question you want to hear from your manager?
- The question you ask yourself when you think about money?
- The question you ask yourself when you meet someone of the same sex? What about when you meet someone of the opposite sex?
- Questions you ask yourself when planning a party?
- Questions that you ask yourself when you agree to lend something or money to someone you know?
And further. Look at the picture for this podcast.
What questions does the boy ask?
- What questions does the piglet ask?
- What questions does the carrot ask?
Analyze the questions you ask yourself every day. Behind these questions it is not difficult to discern the values that dominate your life. We invite you to the vm2b.ru forum to discuss your questions and the priorities that stand behind them.